00;00;00;00 - 00;00;09;29
Unknown
That's.

00;00;09;29 - 00;00;31;19
Unknown
And higher and higher and.

00;00;31;21 - 00;00;56;20
Unknown
If you dig the twisted, admired the outlandish, and are enamored by the unusual, you're in the right place. True crime, the supernatural, the unexplained. Now you're speaking our language. If you agree. Join us as we dive into the darker side. You know, because it's more fun over here. Welcome to Total Conundrum.

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Unknown
One. Someone's first move. Born forward. Courtroom. Scarborough. This discussion is advanced.

00;01;08;18 - 00;01;20;09
Unknown
Hey conundrum crew. Welcome back to another fun episode. Today we have a special guest. We have Debra Roku from Paranormal

00;01;20;09 - 00;01;36;28
Unknown
How do you say that again? I'm sorry. So it's actually, it's so it's Debra. I've got that. So it's Roby and Karen Hardy and it's paranormal paradigmatic. Thank you. That was your very welcome. And I just I just picked up where we started recording.

00;01;36;28 - 00;01;47;25
Unknown
And of course, my mind just will gone. Well, welcome to the show. And could you, tell us a little bit about you?

00;01;47;25 - 00;02;07;29
Unknown
Oh, yes. So I guess I'll get down to the, you know, the good stuff, the nitty gritty, which is I am a medium, and I am also a healer. Because my medium abilities allow my clients, I guess, or allow people to heal at a subconscious level.

00;02;08;01 - 00;02;30;17
Unknown
Through spirit communication. So that's what I do. That's what I have done, that I haven't always been doing this. I've actually just been doing this for about a year now, because before this, I was kind of growing and like just learning about spirituality and doing tarot and all that. And then before that, I was a complete atheist.

00;02;30;20 - 00;02;52;10
Unknown
So it's just been like a stepwise sort of journey. And now I'm here. So it's, never thought I'd be here, but I am, and, it's it's it's going well. So, I mean. Yes. So what was the moment or experience that first awakened your spiritual gifts? Or maybe realized the path that you were meant to walk?

00;02;52;17 - 00;03;23;17
Unknown
Looked a little bit more, multidimensional? Well, I guess there's a couple awakenings. Because I guess some people would call my me coming into a medium, my medium abilities and awakening. And then. But then before that, there was a sort of awakening where I kind of switched from the atheist mindset to a more like, broad, or I guess some would call it like agnostic mindset.

00;03;23;17 - 00;03;28;03
Unknown
Someone somewhere where I was like, well, maybe I'm wrong. So I guess.

00;03;28;03 - 00;03;45;12
Unknown
The switch from atheism to being a little bit more open happened because I, my father passed away. And so when my dad passed away, you know, it was in an unexpected, incident. We didn't expect for him to pass, I mean, when he was a little older.

00;03;45;12 - 00;04;02;05
Unknown
So this was 2015. He was 71. So it's not like he was like the youngest, but he wasn't like that old, at least in my in my head. So we, had him he passed away. But it wasn't that he passed away. It was like

00;04;02;05 - 00;04;10;18
Unknown
that night that everything happened. So that weekend I was with my sister in Orlando.

00;04;10;18 - 00;04;34;22
Unknown
We were going to Disney World. Sorry. No. Yeah, yeah, we did go to Disney, but we were in Orlando. Not because of Disney World and of his. We were going to watch the premiere of Jurassic World. I will never forget this. I think. Yeah. And, so we were together and I remember speaking to my dad that Friday and he was a little upset with me because we didn't call him when we got to Orlando because that was the thing.

00;04;34;23 - 00;04;47;17
Unknown
He was like, well, you girls have to call me when you get placed, so I know that you're okay. And I was like, oh, I'm sorry, dad, but we're okay. So on and so forth. Don't worry, we'll talk soon and we'll make plans for Father's Day, which was the next weekend.

00;04;47;17 - 00;04;53;06
Unknown
And so I said, okay. So I ended up talking to him Friday night or Friday at some point.

00;04;53;08 - 00;05;04;27
Unknown
Saturday rolls around normal day. We see the movie, we come back to the hotel and I woke up around midnight after going to sleep

00;05;04;27 - 00;05;12;06
Unknown
with my father in my head, like I could not get him out of my head. It was just like, something's wrong. I don't know what's going on.

00;05;12;06 - 00;05;16;10
Unknown
something's wrong with my father. And at first I was freaking out.

00;05;16;11 - 00;05;33;09
Unknown
But then I kind of settled into. It's just anxiety. You're. He's fine. Call him tomorrow. It's just. Maybe. You know, I'm worried because I know he's older and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I just convinced myself that it was nothing.

00;05;33;09 - 00;05;40;15
Unknown
So then get a call at 236 in the morning telling me that my father passed away. Oh. I'm sorry.

00;05;40;18 - 00;06;01;11
Unknown
And that, to me, was just really uncanny. I just said I hadn't because it was the feeling of it. It was just the way that it came about that was so strange for me. It was like a sudden. Like a like a knowing, like I know something's wrong. Like. Father, you understand? Like this. There's something that I couldn't shake off.

00;06;01;11 - 00;06;24;22
Unknown
But either way, I convinced myself that it was just me being, you know, anxious or overreacting or some sort of, like, other psychological situation. Right? So I went back to sleep that then it was just everything that happened afterwards that also kept being strange, like strange things happening. Like all of the sudden I'm like, tapping into, like, my own intuition.

00;06;24;22 - 00;06;44;24
Unknown
A little more. For instance, a few months later, I moved to the Dominican Republic. So he died in June and August. I was already living in the Dominican Republic, and then in October I found out that my then boyfriend was cheating on me. But again, it came in through not knowing. And so it was little things like that.

00;06;44;27 - 00;07;04;18
Unknown
Then my friend, she started coming into medium abilities, which I thought was strange at the time. I was like, well, that's odd. Understand? Like this, this, this just just came up like it wasn't like her the whole time. It was just something that came up. And one day she was like, look, your dad keeps trying to come to me that your dad is it?

00;07;04;19 - 00;07;21;04
Unknown
He didn't want to talk to you. He wants to talk to me. And I'm like, okay, then what would he want to say? Like, why, I don't know, what do you what do you want me to tell you? Right. So we ended up talking and she's like, she said things to me that were very like him. And I was like, yeah, okay, that's strange.

00;07;21;04 - 00;07;40;02
Unknown
Things that she didn't know. You know, she was my friend. It's not like she knew my dad intimately, you understand? Like there was, right? There wasn't none of that. But like, again, I was in a in a moment of like, I, I was still very skeptical, you understand? I didn't believe in anything, even though I had already experienced something strange to me, it was just like a hiccup.

00;07;40;05 - 00;08;00;24
Unknown
And so when she was talking to me, something that really hit home for me and I said, okay, this is too specific or this is too like too true for this, not for there not to be something else. And there was when she was like, why do I keep seeing the number 236? Why do I keep seeing the number?

00;08;00;24 - 00;08;16;00
Unknown
236 there's something with the number 236 and I think right there, I almost like I almost fainted, like I was just like, I can't. What do you mean? Like, how are you seeing this number? And she's like, I don't know. She's showing me that for 236. And I was like, well, that's the time that I got the call.

00;08;16;00 - 00;08;39;10
Unknown
It was, I mean, he died. Wow. So even though she didn't understand why she was getting this number, it was just the fact that she got the number right. You understand? Like, out of all the numbers that exist, you understand? She could have said funny, like, I don't know. But she said, 236 and that's when I said, okay, there is something conscious out there.

00;08;39;10 - 00;09;17;20
Unknown
And I don't understand it. Right. So then I went into, just deep diving into like spirituality for myself and doing a lot of like, you know, my own work. And then last year in June, July is when I came into my own abilities. And that was a whole other situation in and of itself. I mean, it was beautiful, but it was also very traumatic, traumatized a lot of my family, because of the very intense nature in which it occurred.

00;09;17;23 - 00;09;39;02
Unknown
And I don't share this a lot with anybody because or a lot of people, because they just I don't first of all, I think people think I'm crazy or will think I'm crazy. And secondly, is like, you had to see it to believe it. And so I do. I don't really like give out too much of the details, because I don't think people would definitely understand what it means to be completely.

00;09;39;02 - 00;10;07;21
Unknown
Powerless for a while. Like I did not have power over myself, and I had to sort of go through a few tests to really understand what was happening and kind of get to the level that I'm at now. And it is very strange to describe in that. But when I look into or when I speak to people who know about these things where like deeply invested in the spiritual, they tell me like, well, that's not uncommon.

00;10;07;23 - 00;10;32;19
Unknown
If you're really gifted, well, that's not uncommon. If you really are connected, like there's certain beings that will test you, there's certain things that have to happen. And it was just like, like, for instance, like there is times where, like, nobody can touch me. I didn't know why. I just know that whoever was around me, the being that was around me was very real
 and I was not allowed to be touched.

00;10;32;21 - 00;10;51;27
Unknown
Okay. And people don't get that. But this was part of the awakening process. And then that like took almost a month, I was out of work for three weeks, like think on my job is what it is. And they allowed me to have like a three week sort of like situation. And during this time I just.

00;10;51;27 - 00;10;52;22
Unknown
Like parenting.

00;10;52;22 - 00;11;07;05
Unknown
What they tell me is, like, you opened a portal, you opened yourself up like you just, like, went hello and allowed things to come in. And I said, I don't know how I did that. And there were like, somebody told me like one of another medium was like, it's because of

00;11;07;05 - 00;11;09;19
Unknown
you. Like who you are, what you are.

00;11;09;21 - 00;11;33;24
Unknown
And I was like, sure, okay, okay. Still very cryptic and very like mysterious. And I don't understand it, but these are just unfortunately, this is just sort of part of, I guess the businesses, you know, you're going to get what you get, but that doesn't mean you're going to get everything right. So it's like the information that you get, it's what you're meant to get and what you're meant to know and other things you're not meant to all the time that you're meant to know it.

00;11;33;26 - 00;11;47;11
Unknown
You have to wait for those things or you have to work toward it. So when I entered into my medium abilities, it was just very intense process. But I made it through. And then for a while, I mean, I got to the point where, like,

00;11;47;11 - 00;11;52;18
Unknown
I was going to, oh my God, I was psychiatrically evaluated and they were like, are you okay?

00;11;52;22 - 00;12;14;05
Unknown
And I was like, am I okay? I was like, am I okay? You really am. I? Yes. Okay. And then they were like, yeah, you're you're you're you're fine. There's nothing wrong with you. And I said, okay, well that's, that's creating that out. And then from there it was just kind of starting to do readings like, this is what I was built to do.

00;12;14;05 - 00;12;26;08
Unknown
And I started doing readings. And when I say they, I mean, like my beings, my spirit team, my the team that now guides me or that has been guiding me, but now I'm aware that they're guiding me. And so they were just like, start doing readings.

00;12;26;08 - 00;12;35;29
Unknown
See for yourself. So when you when you say spirit team. Yes, how do they communicate with you or how do you see

00;12;35;29 - 00;12;39;17
Unknown
the, your spirit team or your spirit guides?

00;12;39;19 - 00;12;44;06
Unknown
So I can see things, but I actually kind of

00;12;44;06 - 00;13;02;29
Unknown
don't want to always see things. Because sometimes when you see things, you're just wish you hadn't. So because of the things that come up, like just, just some strange things out there. But, when I do see things, they're sort of in my mind's eye. It's not like they're physically present, like a ghost or something like that.

00;13;02;29 - 00;13;03;18
Unknown
That like a,

00;13;03;18 - 00;13;22;05
Unknown
you know. Yeah. But people would describe a ghost to be. It's like they're in my space or whatever. What I can see that is more like ghostly is like movement, like sometimes I will see movement in the room. So it kind of looks like a wisp of light or something like that. Okay. I can see that.

00;13;22;08 - 00;13;49;05
Unknown
Or I can see beams of light, like so sometimes I see blue, or sometimes I see red or gold and I'm like, oh, I know what that is. Well, something's here. But that's how I see, and then if I kind of like, tap in and I really focus, then I can distinguish features am like, oh, like yesterday I had, I had a reading and it was so strange.

00;13;49;05 - 00;14;05;01
Unknown
Like, I'm looking at this person's spirit guy, but I'm not really looking because there's nothing there. Right. But in my mind's eye, I'm seeing this and suddenly I see two heads and I'm like, what the heck? It was really strange. I was like, what is? I was like, you have two heads. And he was like, yeah, I actually do.

00;14;05;01 - 00;14;34;08
Unknown
And I was like, oh, okay. Interesting. Hadn't experienced that before. I was just so like weird. But okay, so I see that. And then the way the information comes through is like a direct channel. So like consciousness to consciousness. I don't know what that would be called. But I basically allow them to use me. So like conscious entities, they sort of use me as their avatar.

00;14;34;10 - 00;14;38;13
Unknown
So they speak to you through me. Okay. So like, not some kind of

00;14;38;13 - 00;14;45;27
Unknown
I do have a form of telepathy. Not that I can read your mind. Right. But in, in,

00;14;45;27 - 00;14;50;00
Unknown
I can tap into whatever the being is thinking sometimes. Okay.

00;14;50;00 - 00;15;01;11
Unknown
But they, they use me as, like, their voice is basically how one of my gifts go.

00;15;01;18 - 00;15;18;12
Unknown
The other gift that I have is like, what psychics have. They kind of just tap in and get, like, bits and pieces of information, okay? Like one of my friend did, and she was like, oh, I see this number. I feel this thing for me. I do that if I like, hone in and just take this the focus focusing.

00;15;18;14 - 00;15;46;08
Unknown
But that doesn't come through as fluidly as a direct channeled from another being, if that makes sense. Okay. Very cool. Yeah. It is interesting. Yeah. I've I don't know when we were on the phone was about a month ago or so. Yeah, I've seen the episode and stuff. I had mentioned that there was times in my life that I had had dreams.

00;15;46;10 - 00;16;16;27
Unknown
Yes, that had come true, and that there's times that I feel that there's certain things, like having that extra being very scared of things from the other side and. Yeah, and growing up in a house that was very active and stuff like that, and I think over the years that I just totally tried to turn off anything with that.

00;16;16;29 - 00;16;45;28
Unknown
And, there's, you know, times that I think that there might be something that I just have shut off and won't, don't want to tune into or didn't want to tune into. So I understand that, you know, not under or like having stuff like that occur and then wondering because that what scares me is the thought of dreams, like dreaming something and then having that fear of that dream coming true

00;16;45;28 - 00;16;48;05
Unknown
right when it's not a good dream.

00;16;48;05 - 00;17;07;12
Unknown
And we had just discussed with, one of our previous guests that we interviewed, I had told him that I had taken a melatonin and had a dream that our dog got hit, and I saw it happen. And this was a couple of years ago, and it scared me so bad that I have never touched melatonin again.

00;17;07;12 - 00;17;09;18
Unknown
We'll be back after these messages.

00;17;09;18 - 00;17;42;17
Unknown
Hey conundrum crew. Have you ever listened to an episode and thought, wow, I wish I could wear this level of chaos? Well, now you can. That's right. Total conundrum officially has merch, hoodies, t shirts, mugs, stickers, everything you need to wrap your favorite mystery loving banter filled podcast in style. And the best part? Our signature cute pink brain is front and center, scratching its head just like the rest of us, trying to figure out life's weirdest mysteries.

00;17;42;19 - 00;18;17;28
Unknown
Honestly, it's the perfect representation of our show. Smart, a little confused, and totally adorable. Just like me. Yeah, sure. Jeremy. Let's go with that. Anyways, if you want to grab your official Tour Conundrum merch, head to the bonfire.com/store/total-conundrum and get yourself some spooky, stylish, and absolutely conundrum worthy because nothing solves a mystery quite like retail therapy. Available now.

00;18;17;28 - 00;18;25;25
Unknown
While supplies last.

00;18;27;05 - 00;18;43;17
Unknown
So okay. But so that's kind of so I understand what you're saying about seeing things are experiencing things and wondering kind of, what the heck is this all about? And I think that's something that some people are definitely more sensitive to than others.

00;18;43;17 - 00;18;51;03
Unknown
Right. And I mean, this is when I started paranoia parodic like it's evolved to, you know, what it is now.

00;18;51;03 - 00;18;55;22
Unknown
And even then it's still evolving. It's not I don't feel like it's really sound. It's

00;18;55;22 - 00;19;36;06
Unknown
true voice yet, with whatever, with all these changes. But when I initially started it, my focus was on individuals who had these paranormal experiences like yourself, and were afraid and didn't want to admit these things or didn't want to, you know, share their stories for fear of being accused of being crazy or liars or, you know, had their reputation ruined or, you know, being seen as stupid because, you know, only stupid people believe in the paranormal or, you know, whatever sort of stigma that's associated with this phenomenon.

00;19;36;09 - 00;20;03;24
Unknown
And so that's what I was doing, especially, with my content was talking about, you know, the paranormal. This was before my medium ability. So this was already stuff that I had learned in my own studies with my own experiences, to help people understand that the paranormal isn't abnormal or isn't strange, isn't unreal. It's just another

00;20;03;24 - 00;20;06;00
Unknown
it's another facet of reality.

00;20;06;03 - 00;20;28;11
Unknown
Right? And that's it. We've just been closed off for many reasons. For you, for instance, you are closed off to it a little bit because of the fear. And fear is one of the biggest things that's going to close you off anything, right? Right. I still see things or experience things, but I try to, debunk them. But Jeremy has never had a true paranormal experience.

00;20;28;11 - 00;21;02;21
Unknown
He is a very big skeptic. Well, I mean, I guess, I don't know, it depends on what you consider to be paranormal. What do you consider to be paranormal, Jeremy? A ghost. What is a ghost? Plasma like, And Ghostbusters. That little green dude. Slimer. Ha! Right. Slimer. Slimer is great. But I mean, yeah, and I think that has a lot to do with if Jeremy has an experience.

00;21;02;21 - 00;21;21;21
Unknown
Something paranormal has a lot to do with what he assumes. The paranormal is. Right. And this is a lot of people, you know, people think that the paranormal is more Jeremy just said ghost, you know, plasma things that have to manifest in this reality for me to believe that it is true. But the paranormal is so much more.

00;21;21;21 - 00;21;46;04
Unknown
The paranormal is those times where you've, you know, felt something inside you and you don't understand what it means or why it's the sort of like intuition and the knowing, you know, that's paranormal or the times where let's say, you got a calling like something called the I understand you're like, I'm going to go this way. And then you're like, no, actually this.

00;21;46;04 - 00;22;02;07
Unknown
And then all of a sudden something else happens. The paranormal can manifest in so many ways. It doesn't necessarily have to be ghosts and cryptids and like the boogeyman and things like that. The paranormal is actually very spiritual. And so people just kind of

00;22;02;07 - 00;22;10;06
Unknown
break up the two. They put them in two different sections. And the paranormal needs to be this like spooky, scary like ghosts.

00;22;10;10 - 00;22;18;19
Unknown
An, I don't know, vampires, whatever. You know, you want people consider paranormal, without

00;22;18;19 - 00;22;37;09
Unknown
sort of acknowledging and honoring the spiritual nature of the paranormal. So really it comes down to what do you feel is paranormal? And then how connected are you to your own stuff? Like how connected are you to yourself? Are you really connected to your feelings or do you bog those down?

00;22;37;11 - 00;23;13;02
Unknown
Because I will tell you, there is a big, big connection between you and like yourself, like the person individual being connected to your feelings. Be aligned to yourself and authentic to yourself and open. Being able to open up into these experiences and feel them more than others who are not. And it also depends on your conditioning too. If you're one of these people, like I was who didn't believe in anything because they said that science is is king, then you're not going to see it because you need to be open to it.

00;23;13;05 - 00;23;35;05
Unknown
And if you're not open to it, why would anything try to come to you? I mean, it does, but then you brush it off like I almost said, right? You understand. And was it's being a factor and the paranormal or not the paranormal just the other side will say, they say that it's the it's all energy.

00;23;35;05 - 00;24;00;06
Unknown
Your energy when you past your energy leaves your body. Your soul leaves your body. And so energy is something that scientists believe in. So where does the energy go? And is the energy what when you're having an experience, what you're feeling, the goosebumps, the hair standing up in the back, right neck, feeling like you're being watched or you're not alone or stuff like that.

00;24;00;06 - 00;24;20;11
Unknown
I guess that's the way that I look at it as, you know, when people try to debunk it, it's like, well, when your body's telling you or you're feeling they're experiencing something, then you know, what is it that your experience seen? Because at one moment you were fine, then the next all sudden you're having goosebumps. Are you feeling uneasy?

00;24;20;13 - 00;24;43;18
Unknown
Your intuition is telling you something, right? And then the problem with science, I mean, I was trained in the sciences. I have my master's degree in environmental science and policy like I did the research. I'm trained in research. I done the science. I've done the experiments. Like this was my ideas. I thought I was going to be a professor and an academic, like I was heading down that road.

00;24;43;20 - 00;25;06;12
Unknown
And so science to me is very important. And as a matter of fact, I think science, you know, is just the other side of the same coin of the paranormal or the spiritual. It's just the other facet, right? If the the same concept of duality, it's like the, the physical and the metaphysical, the dark and the light, the feminine, the mask and and they're two sides of the same coin.

00;25;06;12 - 00;25;38;13
Unknown
It's all the same thing. Right? So science is very important. And I'm not I'm not trying to like ever. I will never like, criticize science but like to the point of, you know, I will criticize science, definitely science. But I'm not saying that it's not wrong. What I'm saying is that sometimes the more, materialist or positivist framework in science has really been a detriment to the sort of like the development and understanding of the more spiritual aspect of our lives.

00;25;38;13 - 00;26;00;10
Unknown
And that's a problem, because when it comes to science, everything has to be objective truth. A lot of it now, things are sort of shifting, especially when it comes to, the research on consciousness, right? Or healing, you know, you, you listen to like Doctor Joe Dispenza and like you listening to like, people healing or just like, well, that's paranormal, right?

00;26;00;10 - 00;26;11;15
Unknown
Isn't it? In a way, it's spiritual because it has a lot to do with yourself and determining to yourself and how you, you yourself can heal your body. But then

00;26;11;15 - 00;26;23;22
Unknown
other people in science, you know, they want to just say, well, that's subjective stuff, all that subjective stuff. This is crap, you know? Which is stupid because again, same side of the other side of the same point.

00;26;23;22 - 00;27;05;12
Unknown
Objective subjective. You understand objective reality, subjective reality. You can't deny one. Right. Because then you're denying, a critical component of the whole reality. So it's a just a shame because I feel like if science honored more of this objective truth, right? It would allow us to feel more comfortable and less, concerned about what others would think if we actually leaned into these subjective feelings, if we actually explored these things that we feel make us crazy, we don't understand or are scary, but a lot of it is the conditioning, as I said.

00;27;05;12 - 00;27;28;24
Unknown
So I get it, you know, been there, done that. Well, I understand everybody has their own path and at the end of the day, it's your choice. So in your experience and with your guides and whomever else you've communicated with, what did I say about the other side? What's what's there? Is there heaven? Is there hell? Is there purgatory?

00;27;28;26 - 00;27;55;19
Unknown
Is it something that they don't? Well, I guess I'm going to ask you. What do you what do you want to know about the other side? Because I can tell you some things, like if you want to clarify some things about what you've been taught, I can definitely give you answers, as to what exists, because they have told me a lot of things and I just don't know what you're looking for.

00;27;55;22 - 00;28;18;18
Unknown
So what kind of answers you would like then I guess I was thinking just more in general, but you know, is there a place that you go to afterwards that like a heaven or hell, or is it, just, you know, reincarnation or, you know, like, let's say, you know,

00;28;18;18 - 00;28;24;23
Unknown
I pass away and years later, Jeremy passes away, which he'll rebuttal on that one right away.

00;28;24;26 - 00;28;45;12
Unknown
Yeah, because he always says that he has to go first. But is there, you know, a time and in space, in that where when we both are not on this plane anymore, the earthly plane, will we be rejoined or is it just living different? Life's over and over again in

00;28;45;12 - 00;29;00;11
Unknown
Reincarnation, trying to, you know, like some people will say that you're reincarnated and forced to relive or to live a life, to try to make change of mistakes that you made in your previous life.

00;29;00;12 - 00;29;16;28
Unknown
I know it's a couple couple different examples and. But what time is happy hour? Yeah, happy hour is all our. Yeah, yeah, I think so. A few things that I can talk about. Well the first thing is

00;29;16;28 - 00;29;23;29
Unknown
if a medium or a psychic ever tells you exactly how it is, I don't know if they're

00;29;23;29 - 00;29;33;20
Unknown
not. Now, I'm not going to say that they're lying, but they might not have a true understanding, because the reality is that we get we get impressions and we get certain pieces of knowledge.

00;29;33;20 - 00;29;55;11
Unknown
But it's not the full picture. Right? Because again, some of this is supposed to stay secret. We're not supposed to know all the mysteries of the universe. But we're supposed to know enough. So from what I understand and from what I've been told, and the way that it's been described to me is that the other side is.

00;29;55;11 - 00;30;26;12
Unknown
Not very different from this. Do you understand? There. There's free will. Do you go to heaven or hell? There is something akin to that. It's not the heaven that they paint to you, you understand? In the Bible and like all these things, there is a kingdom. There are kingdoms, is what I'm trying to say. So it's not just one kingdom, it's various kingdoms, because we're talking about the whole friggin universe, you understand?

00;30;26;14 - 00;30;52;13
Unknown
So all these galaxies and all these billions of stars and things like they're conscious entities. So these all have something, there's something going on. So when you're on the other side, there's realms or dimensions, right? Whether you are reunited or not is going to a lot depend on the type of connection that you have on this earth.

00;30;52;16 - 00;30;59;13
Unknown
And then also the type of work that you've done on this earth. Because there is the, the ability to ascend

00;30;59;13 - 00;31;13;11
Unknown
or descend. How does that mean that there is a hell all the way that this rabbit is not exactly, though, kind of. Because as I've learned, if you've thought it, it exists.

00;31;13;11 - 00;31;18;09
Unknown
Okay. Period. So every that basically the universe is made of thought.

00;31;18;09 - 00;31;41;15
Unknown
And so the way that I, they describe things to me is like all those books that you read, they exist, that world that that situation exists somewhere. The, the things that have been thought of and made exist. So and if you think about it, that's how everything on this earth exists, right? So think about the Earth.

00;31;41;15 - 00;31;55;17
Unknown
You're sitting in a house or in a city or in the inner city, in a country, and it's all been made with somebody thought somebody thought it and was like, I'm going to organize this shit, or I'm going to make this, or I'm going to do this, or I'm going to do this.

00;31;55;24 - 00;32;18;25
Unknown
And it was made. So the death that you're using, the microphone, the thing everything was made from a thought. It's kind of the same thing over there on the other side. Now, are you again back to what happens to you? Will you decide now you're home. You're back home. You will be whatever it is that you are your soul right now, even though you're human, that doesn't mean that you're still as human.

00;32;18;25 - 00;32;35;22
Unknown
God knows where you came from. Like maybe you came from like, I don't know, whatever part of the galaxy. I have no idea. I've had humans who then they crossed over and they come and they are not human. Oh my God, you bring up you, they're like, oh my, oh my God. Okay. But you were never like, yeah, we were.

00;32;35;25 - 00;32;38;20
Unknown
I was like, oh okay. That doesn't mean you're human.

00;32;38;20 - 00;32;54;07
Unknown
And so it's just going to depend who you were or what you are. You come, you go back to that. Now you have a whole new set of memories and a whole new set of experiences, and then you make a decision like, you know, are you going to be reunited with your loved ones and set free?

00;32;54;09 - 00;33;13;24
Unknown
Yeah. Because you've made this beautiful connection on earth, or do you have things to work on? And I know family members that pass on, and because of all the stuff that has weighed them down, they end up going to another dimension or another realm where they need to like,

00;33;13;24 - 00;33;14;12
Unknown
work

00;33;14;12 - 00;33;18;18
Unknown
and prove themselves to sort of be reunited with their family.

00;33;18;18 - 00;33;22;00
Unknown
Okay. So it just really depends. And then reincarnation.

00;33;22;00 - 00;33;51;03
Unknown
Yeah, you just choose one. You want recovery, is it reincarnate wherever you want. Isn't that something that Rob said, Jeremy, that there was a levels kind of different levels. And yeah, his aunt had his mother had issues with her sister resolve going back from childhood and she couldn't progress basically to a next level until she had her issue resolved.

00;33;51;05 - 00;34;12;14
Unknown
Right. Because and I'm glad that somebody else said that now it makes me feel a little better. Yes. That's what happens. People think that like. And this a lot of religion, like not all the religions, the Abrahamic religions tend to do this thing where they're like, you will be absolved from your sins, you will be judged. And when you die, and it's not necessarily like that.

00;34;12;14 - 00;34;30;07
Unknown
I mean, you could be. Yeah, sure. But that doesn't mean that it's exactly like that. Like you're going to go and have like a judgment day. Not all souls do. You kind of just already kind of depending on what weighs you down and the work you've already done, they're like, oh, this is that okay? This is the level that you go to.

00;34;30;10 - 00;34;37;00
Unknown
Because when you're over here on the other side, you understand there's still work that you need to do. So if you're like

00;34;37;00 - 00;34;50;04
Unknown
still harboring the anger and the pain and the resentment and the the insecurity and the doubt or whatever, and it's weighed you down and you didn't really live to your full potential or your purpose on this life.

00;34;50;04 - 00;35;07;14
Unknown
You got a lot of healing to do. And it's going to happen over there. It's, you know, happens here while you're alive, ever happens over there on the other side. But then on the other side, you're kind of placed on different levels, and then it can be a little harder and a little lonely because you're not reunited with family right away.

00;35;07;16 - 00;35;15;21
Unknown
Yeah. So sounds depressing. It could be. It could be I just when you dealt with souls like that, that like,

00;35;15;21 - 00;35;24;24
Unknown
wanted to be reunited with their family and they didn't know how, and they had to do the work. And so that's sort of how this came along, actually, it was kind of like, oh,

00;35;24;24 - 00;35;26;01
Unknown
we got to do the work.

00;35;26;01 - 00;35;50;02
Unknown
No. Regardless, you understand whether we're alive or dead, you know, then we're not really done. We're still like, we're are these eternal beings. And so doesn't matter where you go, you got to you want to get better, you got to do the work. And either here or there, just you even you want to vacation. Look, sir, I don't want to tell.

00;35;50;05 - 00;36;15;09
Unknown
I gotta take those vacations. Now, if you don't want to do the work. Because. Are you going to go out there? Oh, yeah. Right. Because, What, physical need to survive, work it. It prevents vacations in this realm. Well, that and then that's the problem, right? So, like, this is the stuff that I talk about in my healing sessions there.

00;36;15;09 - 00;36;37;10
Unknown
And, you know, a lot of the guides that come through are like, you're just you're just surviving. Most of humanity at this moment is just on survival mode. And the reason is and one of the reasons is because of all the like, this is how it is and this is how it needs to be. And this and nobody's really aligning to what they are or who what they want and what they want to be.

00;36;37;10 - 00;36;52;19
Unknown
Because I got to pay bills because I got to do this, because I got to be this way. Because it's not, it's, it's, it's. And so but really what's happening is you're disconnected from yourself. And if you're disconnected from yourself, you're obviously going to be disconnected from spirit or source. And so then you never really know the reality.

00;36;52;21 - 00;37;09;13
Unknown
And so you never really like try to do better, or you have it in your head that you're like, whatever. When I die, I'll figure it out. Or my dad used to say, when I die, it's all going to be over. And I'm I know, I know, I think about it and I'm like, well, he was wrong.

00;37;09;19 - 00;37;31;12
Unknown
Oh, no. Okay, okay, okay. You know, I talked to my father, actually, after his passing, he's come to visit. He's actually he he became my sister's guide, so that's really cool. He stayed in the family. But he's not my guide, so I see him. Well, I don't see him speak to him every now and then, but he's one of the ones guiding my sister now.

00;37;31;14 - 00;37;46;08
Unknown
But it was a very interesting conversation, being alone. I told him I was like, you know, I have to thank you. So I think that him dying and then him coming to me and he kept coming to me after his death, but I just didn't realize that, was really what helped me

00;37;46;08 - 00;37;50;19
Unknown
sort of take the turn. And I think it was because he was an atheist in his life, right.

00;37;50;20 - 00;38;10;21
Unknown
Like he was a huge atheist. And one of the things he told me was like, well, I had to make sure that you weren't going to make the same mistake I did in my life. And I was like, you did? Well, there was no, but yeah, but that's the other. Like, the other side is not very different.

00;38;10;23 - 00;38;30;08
Unknown
When I speak to guides and stuff like that, they curse. I remember somebody was very, like very surprised or like, oh, they curse. And I was like, yeah, just because it's your divine beings doesn't mean that they don't express themselves. Like cursing is really not that big of a deal. Yeah, you know, things like that. So, remind me.

00;38;30;12 - 00;38;56;14
Unknown
Yeah. What did you say? You said interesting. Very interesting to see. Yeah. There. Oh, yes. There are, yes they are. They have personalities, you understand. It's very it's it's consciousness. You know, nobody can just. Can science tell you where consciousness is in the brain? No. Can science tell you what consciousness is? No. But we know it exists, right.

00;38;56;16 - 00;39;23;08
Unknown
So it's all part of that. So it's it's conscious entity energy. And then these beings had their own thoughts and personalities and ways of life. It's so it's like literally worlds out there. So it's pretty cool. So have you ever been we'll say out and out in the wild, out in the public. Now do you have somebody that comes to you and is very insistent?

00;39;23;10 - 00;39;43;08
Unknown
I need you to communicate this message. I need you to do this. Have you ever had anything like that happen? No. Well, first of all, I'm, When I'm out in the wild, so to speak. In the beginning, I was very open and very, very receptive to a lot of people's itch. And it was just very, very uncomfortable.

00;39;43;15 - 00;40;01;23
Unknown
Like, imagine going to the grocery store and feeling somebody's anger or feeling like disgusted by the fact that somebody probably didn't take a shower in two days or something like that, or coming around and seeing somebody sad. And it was just very emotional for me. And I was like, cut it off, we can't do this. So that's one thing.

00;40;01;23 - 00;40;12;16
Unknown
When I'm now out in the public, I've learned to like not necessarily always tap in so that I'm not overwhelmed with the stuff, the other thing too, and that I don't,

00;40;12;16 - 00;40;26;01
Unknown
I don't really like project or like protest protests or what? My God, I don't really see what I am. You understand? I mean, I own the public, and I, I'm just a normal person.

00;40;26;01 - 00;40;49;00
Unknown
I, you know, I'm not trying to like, hey, do you need a medium? Right know? Do you understand? Like, I don't I don't do that. I try to live my normal life because this is already very tough thing sometimes. I don't always, you know. So if I can have, like, a normal life in between all this stuff. Right?

00;40;49;00 - 00;41;12;28
Unknown
I'm digging it. But I had been in public and felt people's things. Anderson. I've been in public and seen things, and I'm just like, well, I've been in public and been approached to like beings. And they're like, can you please tell this person something? You know, I'm like, oh my God, no, I cannot, but okay. Because I feel bad because they obviously have a message.

00;41;13;01 - 00;41;40;23
Unknown
Right. So that I tried to cut that because again, it's so strange. Do you know what it is going up to a stranger and being like your father has a message for you. I want to make sure you're saying like, what the heck? Like, get away from you, psycho. I in the time you get people to acknowledge when you open the door for them or hold a door for them, in this day and age, I couldn't imagine going up to somebody and saying, hey, this is really awkward.

00;41;40;23 - 00;42;03;28
Unknown
But, yeah, so is telling me that I need to talk to you and you have a minute? Yeah, it was in a very strange situation, but it's happened a couple of times and I'm just like, let's not let's try not to do that. Yeah. Public. I'm with my family. I'm with, you know, people like, this is weird.

00;42;04;00 - 00;42;29;27
Unknown
Yeah, I definitely yeah. You could not imagine having I have enough noise and my head on a daily basis of my own. I couldn't imagine having the noise of other people having emotions. And, Yeah, it is. It is a time. It is a time. But, you know, I do the things and know I'm really happy where I am now in life.

00;42;29;27 - 00;42;36;02
Unknown
And, you know, for a long time it was really hard for me to accept this. And I used to think that, like, all people are going to think crazy,

00;42;36;02 - 00;42;47;20
Unknown
like, I'm not going to be taken seriously, you know, and I've been helping people now for the last year, and I have such a positive response. And it only makes me realize that

00;42;47;20 - 00;42;59;06
Unknown
I'm obviously feeling a need and some sort of a gap, and it's a form of feeling that has so far proven to be very, very effective because we're getting and we're tapping into things that

00;42;59;06 - 00;43;02;10
Unknown
not even therapists tap into sometimes.

00;43;02;10 - 00;43;29;03
Unknown
Right. And so, you know, I've seen a difference, even my own. Like the clients, I'll keep coming back. Like the fact that I even have a stable like income coming in is just enough for me to be like, oh, well, I'm doing something right, because otherwise why would they come back? But on a weekly, bi weekly basis? The other thing that I read on your website, which I thought was very beautiful, was that you don't set a price for your readings.

00;43;29;04 - 00;43;30;20
Unknown
No, I it's

00;43;30;20 - 00;43;54;18
Unknown
if you can afford, you know, pay what you can afford. If you, if this is something that you need, you know, starting at nothing. Yeah. If you can give something great, if you can't, then you know. And then I also saw that you not only do individual readings, you do group readings as well. That's I haven't done one in a while but yeah it's, it's a little intense.

00;43;54;20 - 00;44;22;18
Unknown
But yeah I, I do group readings family I help like family like a, you know with their situations. I do individuals and everything's pay what you can. I don't set a price because everybody has a different financial situation and limitation. And this isn't supposed to be like extortion. It's supposed to be service. Right. And, you know, am I going to always be like this where I'm not going to have is that price?

00;44;22;18 - 00;44;47;25
Unknown
I don't know, because at some point I know that if I do grow, I'm going to have to have some sort of boundary. Right? You understand? But at the moment I'm not there yet. You understand? I don't have that much that, that, that sort of kind of influx. You understand where I have to be like, oh, no, like I can't, you know, that's like for now and until the foreseeable future, that's how this is going to work.

00;44;48;00 - 00;45;03;06
Unknown
And I think it really evens out because I have people pay me fine $20 for flashing or reading. I had people pay me $200 right. You know, so it just it's whatever you feel is worth

00;45;03;06 - 00;45;11;19
Unknown
your time and whatever you want to contribute. And, I think it all evens out in the end. So, that.

00;45;11;19 - 00;45;15;06
Unknown
Yeah, as long as I'm helping, that's what matters.

00;45;15;08 - 00;45;50;20
Unknown
Right? And do you help, others that may feel like they have kind of had their third eye open. Do you have, in, you know, going through that journey? Yeah. One day I have a few clients, that in our sessions, they started opening, like, their gifts started coming or like developing. And so part of now, the healing sessions and the sessions that we have is exploring these, feelings, exploring the gifts and then learning how to navigate them and develop them.

00;45;50;22 - 00;46;07;03
Unknown
And, you know, it kind of goes hand in hand with their own healing, too. Okay. So it's really cool, actually, and it's really cool to when when we get come from I think this is the best part when I have like one of my clients, but like she's like, oh, I think I saw this in this and this and I'm like, oh, well, I see this and this.

00;46;07;03 - 00;46;26;10
Unknown
And she's like, yeah. And I'm like, yeah, okay. And then we see the same thing and I'm like, oh, okay. Well we kind of like we validate each other, right? So it's a really it's really nice. So because everybody's gift is going to be different or you know we're gonna have similarities. But the point is that the information least should be the same or the message to be the same.

00;46;26;10 - 00;46;44;22
Unknown
So it's really nice to, to help others in that journey too. That's beautiful. I love that, because I'm sure when when you're I kind of opened up, I'm sure it was a scary journey in trying to find resources that weren't going to extort you. And. Yeah,

00;46;44;22 - 00;46;50;11
Unknown
It was really scary. It was really scary because I went through things that I had never been through in my life.

00;46;50;11 - 00;47;12;15
Unknown
My husband, who, you know, me and him are now separated because just so much has happened and he couldn't he just can't take the fact that this is what I do now. You know, so much of my life has changed because of this. My sister was scared. I had my friends life where, like, what is going on with them?

00;47;12;21 - 00;47;14;05
Unknown
Because, again, I was just

00;47;14;05 - 00;47;31;15
Unknown
not a believer. This was not part of my anything in my radar. Right? It was just like I was doing tarot and they were like, okay. I was like learning about the paranormal in the spiritual. I were like, okay. And then all of a sudden I'm like, in it, in it and like saying things.

00;47;31;15 - 00;47;55;23
Unknown
And they were like, what is wrong with people? Are you okay? There was a psychologist told me I was okay, and this forensic psychologist told me I was so like, I'm, you know, I was I'm fine. And I. And I still see forensic, my forensic psychologist, every now and then. Now, I mean, it was obviously for a while it was a lot more frequent.

00;47;55;23 - 00;48;08;04
Unknown
But, you know, now I'm just entering a whole new level where I'm just like, okay, well, obviously I'm not crazy. Obviously I'm not imagining things. So, you know, and I've been doing my own healing because that's part of the part of

00;48;08;04 - 00;48;15;11
Unknown
my job. You know, I have to lead by example. So this is what I do. And it's very beautiful.

00;48;15;11 - 00;48;31;25
Unknown
And there's going to be a lot of people that benefit greatly from I hope. So. That's the whole kind of the point. And yeah, yeah. So is there been a favorite reading or session or something that was very memorable?

00;48;31;25 - 00;48;35;09
Unknown
This year they all have their own, you know, there's been a few. Yeah.

00;48;35;09 - 00;48;43;01
Unknown
I, you know, the sessions are kind of heavy. There was a memorable one for a bad reason. We're not a bad,

00;48;43;01 - 00;48;43;10
Unknown
actress.

00;48;43;10 - 00;48;51;14
Unknown
But it was very powerful for me. And then there was another session that was memorable because of the relationship,

00;48;51;14 - 00;48;52;07
Unknown
so.

00;48;52;07 - 00;48;58;29
Unknown
Okay, couple of sessions. So one session, I was channeling

00;48;58;29 - 00;49;06;09
Unknown
the sun of a, you know, family whose son had passed away.

00;49;06;09 - 00;49;19;11
Unknown
And this session and this session actually didn't go well. So. True story. Not all my sessions are, like the best because it really just depends on the person. And this happened to be one of the sessions that

00;49;19;11 - 00;49;21;26
Unknown
unfortunately, the woman was like unbelievable.

00;49;21;26 - 00;49;37;10
Unknown
And I was like, okay, no problem. And I remember feeling so bad after that session, I cry. I was like, what am I doing? This isn't real. I'm crazy. Like, I remember just being like,

00;49;37;10 - 00;49;38;11
Unknown
I don't even know what I'm doing.

00;49;38;11 - 00;49;40;02
Unknown
And the being was still there

00;49;40;02 - 00;49;46;14
Unknown
and this. So the sun was still there and he goes, I need you to remember something

00;49;46;14 - 00;49;48;24
Unknown
or like take something into account.

00;49;48;26 - 00;49;58;14
Unknown
And I was like, what? And he's like, you're not just doing it for the humans, you're also doing it for us. And while my mother may not understand what you just did,

00;49;58;14 - 00;50;17;09
Unknown
I do. And I will take this with me forever. You have no idea the power and what you just did for me. So remember that when you do this, even if the person is not ready to receive the message or like, understands what you're doing or trusts you or believes, you know that we do.

00;50;17;11 - 00;50;45;12
Unknown
We know the truth and we appreciate you. And that just made me like me. I was just like, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. And I really uplifted me and I think it helped really put me in another level when it came to doing my sessions, because I realize I'm not only helping my client, I'm helping their loved one on the other side and not all people are ready to receive this messages, because there's all these constructs and there's all these beliefs.

00;50;45;12 - 00;51;03;14
Unknown
Like, if I don't tell you a certain thing, I'm not real. You understand? Or if it doesn't come in a certain way, I'm not real. And like, okay, well, I'm sorry you feel that way. I used to think that too. Yeah, but here we are, another session that was really powerful for me was,

00;51;03;14 - 00;51;06;15
Unknown
just a session where the mom and the son really connected,

00;51;06;15 - 00;51;09;04
Unknown
and that was beautiful.

00;51;09;06 - 00;51;42;14
Unknown
Like, there was a lot of crying. There was a lot of, like, like, questions being asked, and then like this feeling from, like, the sun, just like I feeling better and alleviated and just being like, okay. And like, you understand because there was so much grief around his passing, the very sudden passing. And that was a very nice because I really feel like the, you know, the the song came through very powerfully.

00;51;42;16 - 00;52;09;08
Unknown
And then another session that impacted me, but this one was kind of crazy, this one I didn't expect. So this one, started off really beautifully. It was, a woman and her uncle. So the uncle came through. I never know who's going to come through. And not always. Family members come through. Sometimes it's spirit guides. But.

00;52;09;08 - 00;52;28;08
Unknown
Oh, my God. Like, I'm getting more information when we all these sessions like, oh yeah, that one's good too. But anyway, so the, the uncle came through and it started off so nice, like, hey, it's so nice to see you like the, the the uncle. And he's like, I really want to talk to you about your dad because it's the dad's brother.

00;52;28;08 - 00;52;35;20
Unknown
Like girls. Dad's brother. I want to talk to you about your dad. And you know, all these things. And there was, like, such a good feeling.

00;52;35;20 - 00;52;46;04
Unknown
And then, like, not even five minutes in, I'm channeling this being. And he's talking about these things. Yeah, like super cool guy.

00;52;46;04 - 00;52;54;22
Unknown
And I see the letters essay slash in front of me, and I get this really disgusting feeling like this really disturbing, sinking feeling.

00;52;54;22 - 00;53;19;03
Unknown
And I'm like, whoa, I freak out and I go, hold on. And he's like, he's all excited. And I'm like. And then I tell the girl, I'm like, hold on, I need to ask him something privately for his second. Because obviously I can do it in my mind. It's all right. And I remember just stopping and I'm, I kind of look at this guy or like, you know, look at him.

00;53;19;07 - 00;53;30;06
Unknown
I'm obviously there's nothing funny, but whatever. This is so crazy. The way I explain it. But anyway, here we are. I'm facing this being. And I remember asking him in my mind, I'm like, did you

00;53;30;06 - 00;53;35;27
Unknown
did you say your niece? And he's like, he's like, no. And I was like,

00;53;35;27 - 00;53;39;18
Unknown
did you ask me? He's like, no, I think you're like me.

00;53;39;20 - 00;53;54;09
Unknown
And he was like, oh, I did it. And I go, don't worry, don't mind. And I remember just being like, I'm not going to talk to you. And I go to the girl. I was like, I'm sorry, I really have to ask this because it came up and it's really bothering me. Were you essay by your uncle? And she was this like,

00;53;54;09 - 00;53;55;23
Unknown
yes.

00;53;55;26 - 00;53;56;13
Unknown
And I was like,

00;53;56;13 - 00;53;58;06
Unknown
what are we doing? Why is he here?

00;53;58;06 - 00;54;15;02
Unknown
And she was like, I didn't think that that would come up. Why? She was like, we had a really good relationship. And I was like, well, it came up because obviously it needs to because he's not being accountable for it. Right. And that turned into a whole other reading like hers.

00;54;15;04 - 00;54;28;11
Unknown
Her guide had to come in and like, step in between me and this guy and this being. And it was just like it was intense to the point where later on that night, the being came to me upset, like trying to, like,

00;54;28;11 - 00;54;44;12
Unknown
hurt me upset. And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you doing here? But I mean, obviously nothing happened, but it was probably one of the more powerful ones where I was like, you really don't know

00;54;44;12 - 00;54;45;27
Unknown
what's going to come through.

00;54;46;03 - 00;55;08;25
Unknown
And just because you're on the other side doesn't mean you've done the work and you're a good person, or you're a good being or whatever, like he was not going to acknowledge the pain that not only he calls this woman, but other members of the family, too. Right? He wasn't going to acknowledge that. And I was like, wow, you're yeah, yeah, yeah, you're so and then but that's what I do.

00;55;08;26 - 00;55;26;09
Unknown
Like, you kind of air out the dirty laundry because that's the only way to like, help people find closure or heal. And God knows what she needed to know or needed. And she's he's come back to me and and she's recommended a lot of people to me. Well that's one so I'm really, really happy. But you know, unfortunately

00;55;26;09 - 00;55;29;14
Unknown
this must happen,

00;55;29;14 - 00;55;31;16
Unknown
but you just never know what's going to come through.

00;55;31;19 - 00;55;53;29
Unknown
So but he does want to get in touch with you or have a reading or whatnot. How how do they get in touch with you? Well, my preferred method is Instagram. I do DMs, I'm definitely a texter, so you can DM me on Instagram. On my handle parent at Paranormal Parodic Moms

00;55;53;29 - 00;55;56;05
Unknown
Paranormal Project. That's it. Nothing in the nothing.

00;55;56;05 - 00;56;20;02
Unknown
No dots, no hyphens, no nothing. And then if not, you can always go to my website dot paranormal parodying the.com or my email Deborah at and Deborah Debbie oh RH at Paranormal Paradise McCombe and we'll include all those links and everything in the show notes so you guys can get in touch with her and go from there.

00;56;20;04 - 00;56;49;02
Unknown
And before we started recording, Jeremy and I both, mentioned that if you picked up on anything from us, from a loved one or whatnot, that we would be interested in hearing what you picked up on. Is there anybody, that came through more for Jeremy or for myself? It was definitely for Jeremy. When when you said that, I was like, oh, okay, we're here.

00;56;49;04 - 00;56;54;29
Unknown
Are you ready for this? I'm still okay with this. Jeremy. I'm game for. Okay. I'm game.

00;56;54;29 - 00;56;57;21
Unknown
Okay. So it is interesting.

00;56;57;21 - 00;56;58;10
Unknown
Oh.

00;56;58;10 - 00;57;01;18
Unknown
Okay. What?

00;57;01;18 - 00;57;02;07
Unknown
He.

00;57;02;07 - 00;57;18;02
Unknown
There's a lot of nerves here because I. Oh, my God, I feel I'm kind of put on the spot. All right, so you're think it's okay?

00;57;18;04 - 00;57;46;01
Unknown
Yeah. So I have two beings for a Jeremy, actually. Okay, so we have a spirit guide, and we have a family member. Yeah, yeah, but it looks like the family member. And even I'm a little hesitant for the family member. So is your spirit guide, right? Right. Interesting. What do you want us.

00;57;46;04 - 00;58;05;04
Unknown
Yeah. Yeah. Do we have to say hi. Yes, yes. Okay. Let me say hi or this is what I. Okay. So before every reading we always do a formal hello. Are you ready. Okay.

00;58;05;07 - 00;58;05;25
Unknown
Oh sorry.

00;58;05;25 - 00;58;06;07
Unknown
Yes.

00;58;06;07 - 00;58;09;09
Unknown
Okay. Yeah. Okay.

00;58;09;09 - 00;58;09;21
Unknown
See?

00;58;09;21 - 00;58;17;26
Unknown
Okay. Say hello. I'm going to talk to your guide, Jeremy, and see what happens here.

00;58;17;26 - 00;58;32;03
Unknown
And now you're going to see how I kind of works with me. Now that you've already seen how it goes, I'm not going to look at you guys, and I'm going to just do what I do. I guess. Yeah, you guys, I'm nervous.

00;58;32;06 - 00;58;40;20
Unknown
Yeah. All right, no problem. Guide. Yes. Male guide. Yes. Give a male guide. Good.

00;58;40;20 - 00;58;41;01
Unknown
Yes.

00;58;41;01 - 00;59;17;04
Unknown
Hey, we don't know okay. So let's distinguished. This is Jeremy's guide. Yeah. Yes. I mean, you were right when you said you're open or game. I don't think they realize what that me? Yeah, yeah. So let's go and continue. Yeah. Yes. Oh, this is amazing. Yes. Yeah. Thank you for. Okay, back to this. Jeremy. This is a tough reading.

00;59;17;07 - 00;59;49;19
Unknown
Just because obviously we already know and everybody already know that you get this. So you're probably going to be looking for specific information how it's going to be touch touching go. So we'll see if this resonates. And then I'll determine whether or not you're ready to speak to your family or does that make sense? Yes. Perfect. So a few things that we can probably talk about when it comes to your.

00;59;49;21 - 01;00;22;13
Unknown
Home. This home. No. Good and good question. Not this time. Childhood home. Perfect. Your childhood home. I feel like we have some. Oh, God. I want to talk about. Okay. Your family member. Yeah.

01;00;22;16 - 01;00;41;16
Unknown
Yeah. Okay. When it comes to your child at home, Jeremy, I feel like there are a lot of things that should have been addressed in my life that were not addressed.

01;00;41;18 - 01;00;57;20
Unknown
And in your life. Oh, well, I would like you understand. We will talk about some of that. A lot of your.

01;00;57;22 - 01;00;59;05
Unknown
Yeah. Yeah. Yes.

01;00;59;05 - 01;01;04;10
Unknown
What.

01;01;04;13 - 01;01;33;11
Unknown
Very hard to. Really understand who you are and find yourself when you don't really have parents that were really good at that. And to begin with, do you understand. Yeah. Yeah. Your mother mother your mother.

01;01;33;14 - 01;01;38;06
Unknown
Okay. It's very.

01;01;38;09 - 01;01;38;25
Unknown
Very, very.

01;01;38;25 - 01;01;49;19
Unknown
Your, In a woman that.

01;01;49;22 - 01;02;06;18
Unknown
Unfortunately. And that's the. Your mother isn't exactly. It wasn't exactly the best example of a mother. Do you understand? Yes. And me?

01;02;06;21 - 01;02;48;18
Unknown
You? Yeah. And your father was not as present or as fatherly as it could have been, you understand? Yeah. Okay. And for that, I feel like I should apologize, because the reality is that this kind of back and forth, up and down that you've been facing in your life has a lot to do with the lack of foundation that we gave you.

01;02;48;21 - 01;03;23;23
Unknown
Does that make sense? Yeah. And the fact that now you're in a place where we honestly think your life is your saving fucking grace, that if it's not worth it, save it. If it were not for Tracy, I don't know where the fuck you to be right now. Do you understand? Yes. And it is cry. So it is so.

01;03;23;25 - 01;04;04;06
Unknown
It is so comforting to know that he has helped you in ways that nobody else has ever given a shit. Know that includes us. Your parents. Do you understand? Yes. And so? I, again, you're very generous. Okay. Okay.

01;04;04;09 - 01;04;25;07
Unknown
I'm very grateful that you cleaned your act, so to speak, and began to really.

01;04;25;10 - 01;05;10;03
Unknown
Respect your wife in the way that she needed to be respected. Do you understand? Yeah. Perfect. So a couple things that I want to talk about other than how proud and how God sent. I think your wife is, I also want to talk about where you can probably improve in your relationship. And as a as a wife, as a.

01;05;10;06 - 01;05;17;24
Unknown
Wife.

01;05;17;26 - 01;05;51;23
Unknown
Do you guys have kids? Father? As a father, as a do you have children? Not together? No. He does. You do your. Yeah. As a thought. Okay. Thank. Yeah, yeah, there's been problems there. And trouble. What? Yeah. Yes. And I think that maybe my absence and.

01;05;51;26 - 01;06;29;20
Unknown
The fact that I could have paid more fucking attention has really impacted him. So it's not that he doesn't try. But. There are ways that I feel in the communication with your children. You're just. You guys aren't fucking getting through to each other, do you understand? Yeah. And this is a fucking problem, because I don't want this to be your life.

01;06;29;22 - 01;07;01;10
Unknown
I want you to have a real relationship with your children. Something that I didn't establish with you beforehand. Does that make sense? Yeah. And there is effort from your part that you need to put in that you haven't been putting in because you can pride. Fucking pride. Do you understand? Yeah. Thank you.

01;07;01;12 - 01;07;35;10
Unknown
Jeremy, being a fucking father is hard, though. Being an empathetic, understanding, loving, doting dad is even fucking harder because you got to put your shit aside. Does that make sense? Yeah. And you got to put your shit aside. Okay, so sometimes you're you're harsh on them because you're harsh on yourself. And that comes from not having me and your mother, especially your mother, your mother mother.

01;07;35;12 - 01;07;38;22
Unknown
Your mother. You know.

01;07;38;24 - 01;08;07;01
Unknown
She. There is no blame here, right? There's no blame game. It's all I've got that all. Everybody has fault in it. And I just wish that she. Gave more that she was around. Do you understand. Yeah. And so part of the reason that you're so difficult with yourself

01;08;07;01 - 01;08;09;07
Unknown
We'll be back after these messages.

01;08;09;07 - 01;08;36;21
Unknown
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01;08;36;21 - 01;08;38;07
Unknown
And back to the show.

01;08;38;07 - 01;08;39;22
Unknown
and so

01;08;39;22 - 01;08;49;26
Unknown
angry sometimes is, is the fact that, you know, you didn't have a mom that gave you this compassion and this nurturing that you really needed to develop, and then you didn't really have that for me.

01;08;49;26 - 01;09;17;13
Unknown
All you really had was more of the, the authority, the this is how shit gets done, the typical masculine shit. And that didn't help your cause. And so now, as a dad, you know, a lot of times you just bump heads because part of that nurturing and compassionate side of you, though, it exists and you have it, obviously, you've been married to Tracy.

01;09;17;15 - 01;09;44;20
Unknown
Things are working. She's dealt with g g. I'm telling you, Jeremy, she is fucking God set. Because shit that she's put up with is not easy. That woman has a heart of gold. Do you understand? Yes. Thank you. So thank God for her. And maybe you share this times a little more, because she really knows she is so tapped into her compassion.

01;09;44;22 - 01;10;14;09
Unknown
And that's where you need it most. Do you understand? Yeah, yeah. And so if there's anything to my message today and yes, you can just tell them I'm his father, my message today is that don't fuck up. And I know you're right. You're obviously doing better than I did. I feel so I'm going to give you that. But you can do much, much better than what you're.

01;10;14;11 - 01;10;41;22
Unknown
Do you understand? Yeah. And the last thing that you want is to have this rift between you guys open further. You don't want to. Not at this stage of your life. And especially now that you're getting older, what you want to do is bring everything together again. And no, Tracy's not. Do you understand? Do you have questions?

01;10;41;24 - 01;11;09;01
Unknown
We're going to keep the short time, okay, I don't think. No. Okay. I'm around, I visit Tracy. Tracy has felt things. Tracy. That's sometimes me. Other times it's other beings. But I am around and I know Tracy feels things. So hopefully now that she knows I'm around, she could probably pick up on it. If she stops being free.

01;11;09;03 - 01;11;42;29
Unknown
Yeah. We'll see. Yeah. Is the test for her too? Because she is the channel. She is the one who is open and can probably help Jeremy further in his journey. Yeah, yeah. Do you have anything to say? I think he nailed it. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay. You? Yeah. Any other questions? Do you have any questions? No, I don't.

01;11;43;01 - 01;12;14;07
Unknown
Good. All right. I'll let you do your thing. Yeah. Yes. Okay. You I'm good. We're good. No. We're fine, we're good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I go back. Okay. Hi. Hi. Hey. How are you feeling? Good, good. How was that? Pretty good. Pretty good. Yeah. So that was the first thing that came through. It was your dad, and I was like, I don't know if I should say that it's your dad off the.

01;12;14;14 - 01;12;32;16
Unknown
Because that, you. I guess you figure it out, but I guess you figured it out. Yeah. Oh, granddad. What was that? What?

01;12;32;18 - 01;12;58;23
Unknown
Oh. This is what you were talking about last time, Tracy. About his granddad. Yeah. He's probably not going to. Yeah. Yeah. What. He's not. What. Some.

01;12;58;25 - 01;13;28;10
Unknown
Okay. What's the message? Okay. This is his guy. Some things are not always meant to be discovered. And that's what I'm going to say. Yeah. Yes okay okay. That was from his grandfather. That was from the guy about who died. About the grandfather. Some things are not always meant to be discovered. Yeah, they know what they mean. A little cryptic, they're kind of cryptic.

01;13;28;10 - 01;13;57;03
Unknown
Yeah, I don't know, but whatever that means. So. But anyway, that's sort of how my ability worked. So as you see, they speak and it's not always like very detailed personal information. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't. The point is that it speaks to your soul or your subconscious for you. And so that's what this is about. So I'll, I'll have to be riddle that last one because that's confusing.

01;13;57;05 - 01;14;27;26
Unknown
I don't know I think I think I have it all right okay. What is it. Yeah. You know him mean no, I do. What did we spend hours and days and weeks trying to uncover from your grandpa's chest? Yeah, I guess it could be me. You need a trip to Boston. But you saying that it's not not, you know, some secrets shouldn't be uncovered.

01;14;27;29 - 01;14;57;15
Unknown
Yeah, well, I don't know, I think. Yeah, I don't know. Your granddad was part of something. Yeah, yeah. Do you read all of that one? That. It's a mystery, man. That is. But it looks like it's okay. One. Oh, there. Like, I cannot say there. Like, I can say whatever your granddad was involved in was, like, secret shit.

01;14;57;18 - 01;15;28;23
Unknown
Yes. Okay. Yeah. Yes. Well, I'm going to find out, pops. Well, whatever was that was, secret stuff. Just, you know, like, if you can, you know, have fun. Good luck. I guess, yeah, I don't yeah. I don't know if that riddle will ever be figured out. Yeah, it's a pretty I mean, no, I mean, even what's coming through is very like.

01;15;28;23 - 01;15;53;02
Unknown
It's like it's almost like I see black like a box, like like but like black. You just cannot do not pass the or do not have like 100 or $200, you know, like whatever. That's pretty much how he was. So you would ask my question. And he would never give you a straight answer. So I mean even his brothers and stuff.

01;15;53;04 - 01;16;21;03
Unknown
Yeah. So yeah there's a lot of weirdness there. Well apparently he, you know, he knew things and did things that are just not meant to be revealed. So yeah, there's a lot of, lot of interesting things that we uncovered, like trying to dig into this. Yeah. Honestly, though, he should have never told me that because now I, I don't spend a bunch of money trying to.

01;16;21;06 - 01;16;52;04
Unknown
Hey, I mean, hey, he's your money, but, like, they're literally being like, you're not going to get too far. Although they might as well just save your money. Like, the one, hurdle that you ran into was that the military medical records, the building has burned down. So not even for a reason, apparently. Yes. Yeah. Oh.

01;16;52;05 - 01;17;15;20
Unknown
Okay. Yeah. I just got, like, duh. Obviously we weren't going to let that should get out here. Hello? Yeah, yeah. That's crazy. That is interesting that it's very bad. We need more info on that. I definitely want to know I doubt I will. They they give me what they want to give me. They were not like I just.

01;17;15;22 - 01;17;33;09
Unknown
What if I just say the words Edmund a Banu. Do you get anything from that? I'm in a bond. You.

01;17;33;11 - 01;17;42;17
Unknown
Yeah, I can get some things from that. Go away.

01;17;42;19 - 01;18;00;18
Unknown
Oh, but what I'm getting from that is about him and his and your father. Him and my father. Your father? Your mother. Somebody called on. Who is this?

01;18;00;21 - 01;18;10;07
Unknown
Oh, no. That was me. Yeah. Okay. What is that, Edmund a bond?

01;18;10;09 - 01;18;20;11
Unknown
Oh don't call. What? Yeah.

01;18;20;14 - 01;18;26;08
Unknown
Yeah. It was your dad being like don't don't call him.

01;18;26;11 - 01;18;40;24
Unknown
Okay. We all know him then. Oh that's even more. Whoa. What was that.

01;18;40;26 - 01;18;46;08
Unknown
They're giving me. No, no.

01;18;46;11 - 01;18;53;10
Unknown
Whoa! Look, whoever your granddad was.

01;18;53;13 - 01;18;57;29
Unknown
This side.

01;18;58;01 - 01;19;24;17
Unknown
You need to go into some dark shit, Okay. Cool. Yeah. Interesting, I don't know who he was in life. In life. I'm getting.

01;19;24;20 - 01;19;39;17
Unknown
I mean, yeah, I can see that strict. But.

01;19;39;19 - 01;20;18;28
Unknown
Fine. Con. Yes. Okay. Getting, like, so many complications with con. Do you know if he was a con artist? I don't know, I mean, interesting, so here's, here's the thing that, I found, I think after he passed away, I was going through, one of his dressers. And, first there was a tax record that, showed that my dad had a sister that nobody knew about.

01;20;19;00 - 01;20;56;07
Unknown
It said, maybe in age five. Michael, age 2 or 3, I can't remember exactly. But anyways, in that there was a, dishonorable discharge for Edmund, a brand new. And I'd always found it weird that he would have a medical or not a medical. Just, dishonorable discharge for some other person. And my grandpa's name was Edward Alexander, and he claimed he didn't have a middle name.

01;20;56;07 - 01;21;27;24
Unknown
Yeah. And the discharge records were for an Edmund, a Bonneville. Yeah. So I'm thinking, like my grandpa, something bad happened. He, dropped the barn. You made his middle name. His last name. You know, I mean name. But, yeah. Here's the interesting thing also is Jeremy had a copy of the Social Security records, and there was stuff messed up on their Social Security application.

01;21;27;26 - 01;22;05;11
Unknown
And when I went digging a little bit deeper on an ancestry website, supposedly Edward's parents, there is no record of Edward being born to them, but there is a record of his grandmother being born to the Alexander family. So her name is as you know, listed as a child of what is, according to the Social Security records, would have been Edward Alexander's parents.

01;22;05;13 - 01;22;33;01
Unknown
So now we've had a you know, that's a little weird, too, because, supposedly it sounded like maybe my grandma filled up both of their applications because, you know, that was back when Social Security first started. She didn't. Yeah. Well, yeah, I got, no, I got a oh, her I, my, my grandpa used to always write in like cursive letters.

01;22;33;01 - 01;23;05;03
Unknown
Everything was in cursive letters except for his signature. And, the form is filled out in blog letters, whereas my grandma is is just like normal writing. You know, lowercase. Yeah. Yes. I don't know. There there's a lot like you figured it out. Yeah. We're driving me nuts. Yeah. And it's. And this is why like, I don't know if you will because I got, I got the Ivan that's coming through his con or like fraud or like, like so.

01;23;05;03 - 01;23;30;28
Unknown
And which would kind of go with what you're saying, like, oh, was this. But then it wasn't. So there was an especially back then, like it was just so easy to just write things and change things and papers. Right. So imagine what he did just so that he's his reputation wouldn't be ruined or he wouldn't be caught. Yeah, well, and they moved in Boston to Minnesota on the.

01;23;31;06 - 01;24;03;09
Unknown
Oh, the thing is, is like weird to me because he is like the one person in my life that is always been good to me. That's just we're really close. And, you know, he was the nicest. Get it? Everybody. Everybody knew him, you know, by name. He was ed the bus driver. And, So that's why I find it weird that, like, I don't know, it just.

01;24;03;11 - 01;24;26;23
Unknown
Yeah, I'm getting the, like that, that that's sort of like. So, like, what's I'm kind of seeing is sort of like the things that you see in movies or in stories like I changing my life, like I'm leaving this place, like, do not exist. Like, this is not me. Whole new, like phony personality, whole new everything. But then everything in the past is like, yeah, you know, than the past.

01;24;26;25 - 01;24;54;03
Unknown
So that's probably what happened with your granddad. Yeah. But apparently he's he's a big deal here. Because they're like, don't call him. And I'm like, okay cool. That's good. Yeah. I mean but it was he's evolved. And when I say dark stuff, I don't want you to think like evil. Here, the dark, like, evil isn't really like it's like a.

01;24;54;05 - 01;25;17;00
Unknown
Evil here is evil as we know it. It's not evil. It's. There's no it's not real evil. You understand? It's very few. Not that it doesn't exist, obviously, but it's not like when I say dark. I'm not saying evil. Nothing demonic. Yeah, yeah, but it's just like he's.

01;25;17;02 - 01;25;50;22
Unknown
It's almost. Is this true? Okay. Yeah. It's almost like, The feeling that I'm getting is, he's he's good with the darker stuff, like, he's he's in tune with it, but it's not, like, bad. It's just like he's a master. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. Everything is. Everything's possible. It's really interesting. Your grandpa was a very interesting person.

01;25;50;25 - 01;26;17;26
Unknown
Well enough. Sorry that his. If I don't figure it out in life, I guarantee I'll figure it out. Me after, like. Oh, I guarantee you will. I don't, it will be my mission. Yeah, yeah. And you have the birthright. So I mean, you're fine. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Well, that was pretty cool. That was. I think you want to experience.

01;26;17;26 - 01;26;45;03
Unknown
And, just, before we go, do you, that you don't have to go into as much, as deep as you did with Jeremy or anything, but, do you have any, loved ones that are just stepping forward with a message from me or for me? They only allow two at a time, so it's probably why I don't feel anybody from you.

01;26;45;05 - 01;27;17;01
Unknown
And it seems like they wanted Jeremy to come through, like Jeremy's team to come to you rather than yours, because he's less open than you are. And it seems like you're actually doing better. There is something coming through with your own insecurity about what you're doing in your life and where it's going, and how you're feeling about your progress and your.

01;27;17;04 - 01;27;22;20
Unknown
What is that?

01;27;22;23 - 01;27;45;00
Unknown
Your independent success. Something about you being independent successful. So that makes sense. It does. Yeah. So there's a little bit of that and that just sort of comes with time I'm getting and.

01;27;45;03 - 01;28;16;03
Unknown
Giving yourself the same love and compassion you give to others. Is what I'm like. You're harder on yourself than you need. True that. That that. Yeah. It's okay. Well, Deborah, I cannot thank you enough for doing this with us today. We would love to have you back another time. And, this was a lot of fun, a lot very informative.

01;28;16;03 - 01;28;39;15
Unknown
And you definitely stay in touch. I mean, I'm around. Yeah. So, yeah, I'll be in touch. And, if you have any questions or you, you know, just need me to clarify anything or you need a clarification, just let me stand on these trades. All right. Sound good conundrum. So definitely look her up and, hope you enjoyed this episode as well.

01;28;39;15 - 01;28;45;26
Unknown
And until next time, keep on keeping on. We love you. Bye bye.

01;28;45;26 - 01;29;06;25
Unknown
Thanks for hanging out with us here at Total Conundrum. Please make sure to check out our website and blog at Total conundrum.com for news, upcoming events, merch, bloopers, and additional hysteria. You never know or pop up, so be sure to follow along if you want to show your support for Total Conundrum and gain access to all of our bonus content.

01;29;07;02 - 01;29;36;27
Unknown
Please visit our Patreon page. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. The links are available in our show notes. If you have any questions, comments, recommendations or stories to share, please email us at contact at. Total conundrum.com. Episodes are available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts. If you liked the show, please rate, review and subscribe on Apple Podcasts.

01;29;37;00 - 01;29;44;22
Unknown
We appreciate the love. Keep on keepin on, mothercluckers.

01;29;44;24 - 01;29;51;02
Unknown
You.

01;29;51;04 - 01;29;55;08
Unknown
And.

01;29;55;11 - 01;30;16;07
Unknown
Now it's time to have.