00;00;00;00 - 00;00;09;29 Unknown That's. 00;00;09;29 - 00;00;31;19 Unknown And know. 00;00;31;21 - 00;01;01;05 Unknown If you dig the twisted, admired the outlandish, and are enamored by the unusual. You're in the right place. True crime. The supernatural, the unexplained. Now you're speaking our language. If you agree. Join us as we dive into the darker side. You know, because it's more fun over here. Welcome to Total Conundrum. One. Someone's first move. Born for one quarter. 00;01;01;06 - 00;01;41;03 Unknown The scoreboard. This discussion is advanced. Oh. Picture this. It's 1903. You're in small town Iowa. Corn is king. And the scariest thing around is probably a squirrel that stares at you too long. Or the price of bread. I hear gluten was basically a serial killer back then. Exactly. And here you are, minding your own business. Maybe baking a pie, maybe scaring off those shady looking squirrels when suddenly, bam, a giant bat like monster swoops into town like it's lost its invite to Dracula's wedding. 00;01;41;09 - 00;02;04;27 Unknown Yeah, van meter, Iowa, the kind of town where everyone knows everyone and your neighbor is more likely to lend you a cup of sugar than call a Swat team. Not exactly on anyone's spooky Places bingo card. I mean, if you ask someone, hey, would you expect to find a mysterious cryptid was going horns and wings that would terrify Stephen King himself? 00;02;05;04 - 00;02;31;20 Unknown I guarantee Van Meter would not make the top 100 answers on Family Feud. Nope. But guess what? This quiet little corn loving town got its own exclusive monster VIP experience. Move over Loch Ness, Iowa. Wanted a slice of that cryptid pie. And this wasn't just any cryptid. We're talking about a creature with bat wings, bulletproof armor, and a Brussels stinky that it would make a skunk. 00;02;31;21 - 00;02;58;22 Unknown File a restraining order. Oh, and let's not forget the grand finale. A showdown in a creepy old mineshaft. Because when in doubt, always lure your monsters into a coal mine. Classic Iowa strategy. So buckle up, conundrum crew, because tonight we're going on a wild ride back to 1903, a year when the scariest thing should have been butter churn, explosions and horse manure piles. 00;02;58;22 - 00;03;25;05 Unknown But instead, Iowa got the van meter visitor. Grab your pitchforks and your garlic. Or at least your popcorn, because this one is going to get weird winged and a little bit stinky. You ready? Tracy? As ready as I'll ever be. Let's get this cornfield freak show started. Okay. Before we get to our monster with the glow stick glued to its forehead, let's set the scene. 00;03;25;08 - 00;03;53;19 Unknown Welcome to Van Meter, Iowa. Population around 2000 today. Back in 1903, even fewer people like you probably knew your neighbor's favorite pie recipe and exactly how many cows they had, and how many times they failed at making sourdough bread. No secrets in van meter. Exactly. It was a classic small town Midwest vibe. Church socials, barn dances, and enough corn to make popcorn for the entire galaxy. 00;03;53;22 - 00;04;24;04 Unknown Basically, if hallmark needed a set for a new movie called love in the cornfields, this would be it. Oh, definitely. Picture it. Quiet streets, horse drawn carriages, people greeting each other with that. Well, howdy. Instead of dodging each other like we do at Walmart today. And you just know everybody knew each other's business. Yes, he's in the middle of the night, and the next morning, the entire town's at your door with chicken noodle soup and a prayer circle. 00;04;24;06 - 00;04;48;10 Unknown And into this peaceful, corn loving Paradise comes a giant, smelly, bullet proof, glowing, horned bat creature. Because why not? If you're going to make an entrance, make it memorable. So it's the perfect setup. A cozy town, mining its own business, and then, boom, they get their own cryptid cameo. Iowa just went from boring and beige wallpaper to holy crap. 00;04;48;11 - 00;05;19;25 Unknown Get the shotgun real quick. And folks, that's exactly what they did. But more on that in a minute. All right, let's jump into the main event. September 1903. There's crisp, the corn stall, and apparently the cryptids are feeling extra for night one. A local businessman named Eugene Griffith is walking home after a long day, probably thinking about dinner, his unpaid invoices, and why his horse keeps giving them attitude. 00;05;19;27 - 00;05;47;03 Unknown Classic small town problems. Did I forget to pay the blacksmith? And why does Betsy look at me like she knows my secrets? Exactly. But suddenly he spots a strange bright light bobbing and weaving between the rooftops. And this isn't some flickering lantern or lost firefly on steroids. This thing is gliding smooth like it's got VIP tickets to the rooftop tour. 00;05;47;05 - 00;06;14;00 Unknown Griffith squints up. Heart pounding, convinced it's a burglar. Or maybe the weirdest new bird in town. So what does he do? Naturally, he rushes inside and grabs his trusty shotgun. The classic Iowa home security system. Dodge. Optional. Double barreled. Mandatory. Then he runs back outside, ready to defend the town's honor. His Pi and probably his cows emotional stability. 00;06;14;02 - 00;06;40;22 Unknown But when he fires, guess what? Absolutely nothing happens. The light just keeps drifting along, totally unimpressed, like bro did you really just try that? Honestly? Maybe the creature was just looking for the local Casey's General store. Everyone knows you can't beat their pizza. Oh, great. No, I want pizza. Thanks a lot. Seriously, we're talking about a terrifying monster from 1903. 00;06;40;28 - 00;07;04;27 Unknown And you're thinking about pepperoni pizza? I mean, you said it yourself. You can't beat their pizza. If I were a giant bat creature. I'd skip the livestock and go straight for the cheesy pepperoni goodness to a fair. Night two rolls around. Enter Doctor Elkind. He's woken up by a super bright light shining through his window, which rude. Ever heard of knocking first? 00;07;04;27 - 00;07;28;25 Unknown Right. At least ding dong, ditch me before you blind me with that glowing stick horn floodlight. Exactly. It's like blasting into someone's DMs without saying hi. First you gotta ease into it. Yeah. Take me to dinner. Ask me about my day. Then maybe you can shine a creepy, glowing horn in my face. See? Basic manners. Even cryptids should know them. 00;07;28;27 - 00;07;54;09 Unknown I guess this cryptid didn't learn etiquette one on one. Well, the doc gets up to investigate, looks outside, and boom, he sees it. Big little bat wings, giant horn on its head, and it smells like a mix of sulfur and my gym socks after a high school baseball practice. You touch like a chemical weapon. Naturally. Doctor Elke does what any good small town doctor would do. 00;07;54;11 - 00;08;18;18 Unknown He shoots at it. I'm noticing a theme here. When in doubt, shoot it. Exactly. But again, no effect. The creature's like. Try again, doc, and just flaps away into the night. Hey, at least they're consistent. Just like I'm consistent. If it's haunted, I say burn it down. Oh, I know. I'm pretty sure your solution to every paranormal problem is a match. 00;08;18;18 - 00;08;47;14 Unknown And some lighter fluid. And has that ever failed me? Well, we haven't tested it yet, but I'm 90% sure you're on at least three watchlists. Worth it. Well, on night three, Clarence Dunn, a cashier, hears noises coming from the bank. He thinks it's robbers because nothing says Iowa night life like a bank heist. He peeks in and instead of robbers, he finds our smelly bat buddy just hanging out. 00;08;47;17 - 00;09;13;05 Unknown Dunn watches the creature leave and finds it left behind. A super weird footprint, three toes pressed in the fresh cement like it was signing a guestbook at a haunted Hollywood Walk of Fame. Imagine explaining that to your boss. Sorry, the bank smells because some big bat came in and ruined it. And the new sidewalks too. By this point, the whole town is on edge. 00;09;13;12 - 00;09;41;17 Unknown People started farming. Posse's bringing out their rifles, pitchforks and lanterns, gettin ready for some old fashioned cryptid hunting. Gotta love that Midwest hospitality. Welcome to town. Have some pie. Also, please enjoy this bullet. More like bullets, for they shoot at it a bunch, but it does not faze the creature at all. This thing is apparently bullet proof. Or maybe it's just pulling a full on Superman. 00;09;41;18 - 00;10;04;02 Unknown Bullets bounce right off. But good luck finding a phone booth in 1903. And even if you did, it's probably a wooden box in the back of the general store. I would pay good money to see this glowing horned bat creature trying to clip change into Superman tights. Well, night after night, more sightings, more shots fired, and zero dead cryptids. 00;10;04;04 - 00;10;27;29 Unknown Iowa turned into a live action Duck Hunt game, but with a monster that refuses to go down. Honestly, it's impressive. At this point, the Van Meter visitor is like the town's uninvited party guest, who drinks all the beer and won't leave. And that, my friends, is how Van Meter went from sleepy corn town to the setting of Iowa's weirdest glow in the dark horror story. 00;10;28;02 - 00;10;53;28 Unknown All right, let's break this thing down like a cryptid dating profile. Oh, here we go. Likes moonlight flights over cornfield scaring bankers and long walks in the coal mines. Dislikes bullets, soap and logical explanations. Hey, that's pretty good. Well, physically, it's described as around eight feet tall. So basically NBA ready if it could stop stinking up the court. 00;10;54;03 - 00;11;22;09 Unknown It had these massive bat like wings big enough to make Batman consider a career change. And the bat resistance, a giant horn on its head that glowed like a spotlight. Imagine a flying rhinoceros horse with a headlamp trying to find your campsite at 3 a.m.. Oh, and we can't forget that it smelt like sulfur. Or as Jeremy calls it, adieu, Jimbo circa 1990s or translated in English. 00;11;22;15 - 00;11;43;15 Unknown Toilet water. Gym bag. Listen, that was a play. Hard, sweat. Hard, stinky. Bad kind of year. Okay? Oh, I believe it. I bet your mom used to tie your gym bag to the roof of the car after a hot summer game. Yeah, and even then, the neighbors still called to complain. So what was it? Let's dig into the theories. 00;11;43;22 - 00;12;08;16 Unknown Theory number one. It's a cryptid. Iowa's answer to Mothman. You know, just to chill. Local cryptid who accidentally terrorizes entire towns. Hey, maybe it just wanted a Casey's pepperoni pizza and got lost. Great. Now my stomach's growling. You realize you basically guaranteed were ordering pizza after we wrap up this episode, right? I mean, I'm not mad about it. 00;12;08;21 - 00;12;33;09 Unknown Research does show talking about monsters burns calories, and we should replace those with cheese and pepperoni. Exactly. And if the delivery driver shows up with glowing horns and bat wings, I'm still tipping him. I'll tip him double if he doesn't smell like sulfur in sweaty gym socks. Fair. No amount of mozzarella can cover that up. No, it can not. 00;12;33;16 - 00;13;02;08 Unknown Three, two. An alien explorer who took a wrong exit off the Milky Way and ended up in Iowa thinking it was Mars. Honestly, I can't blame it. If you squint really hard, a cornfield at night might look like an intergalactic salad bar. Theory three some people think it's an evolved prehistoric pterosaur like Jurassic Park, but made it stinkier and glossier, which is somehow less scarier than Jeff Goldblum's chest hair in those movies. 00;13;02;11 - 00;13;35;11 Unknown And then there's theory for mass hysteria. Maybe folks had too much moonshine. Got a little carried away and collectively invented a giant flying monster. Or just a really big mosquito that took CrossFit too seriously. Exactly. New personal record today. Lifted three cows and a tractor before sunrise. Regardless of what theory you buy, one thing's for sure the Van Meter visitor made one heck of an entrance and possibly cleared out all the febreeze stocked in Iowa. 00;13;35;13 - 00;13;59;28 Unknown It was stinky, bullet proof, and left an impression so strong that people are still talking about it 120 years later. If that's not the definition of legend, I don't know what is. All right, so after nights of failed target practice and stinky surprise visits, the town folks decided enough is enough. They tracked the creature down to an abandoned coal mine. 00;14;00;04 - 00;14;24;16 Unknown Because when you're dealing with a glowing, bullet proof bat monster, the logical solution is to corner it underground. Yeah, nothing says excellent plan like forcing a monster into a dark, echoey hall where it has the home field advantage. And get this. They didn't just hear one creature down there. They heard two. Plot twist. Maybe it brought a date. 00;14;24;18 - 00;14;51;27 Unknown Hey, honey, want to check out the charming small town Iowa nightlife? They have free bullets and pitchforks. So the town folk showed true Midwestern ingenuity. Decided to smoke them out. You know, classic horror movie logic. Really? What could possibly go wrong? If we fill a dark mind with smoke and force out two flying death beasts. Honestly, it's like they watched Scooby Doo one too many times. 00;14;52;04 - 00;15;18;03 Unknown Let's split up and drive them into this dark, clearly not doomed mineshaft. So they light up a big smoky fire at the entrance, hoping the creatures would come out and say, okay, okay, you got us. But instead, the creatures just vanished into the mine. They're never officially seen again. Iowa's very own closed the hatch and ruin moment. We'll be back after these messages. 00;15;18;05 - 00;15;50;15 Unknown Hey, conundrum crew, have you ever listened to an episode and thought, wow, I wish I could wear this level of chaos? Well, now you can. That's right. Total conundrum officially has merch, hoodies, t shirts, mugs, stickers, everything you need to wrap your favorite mystery loving, banter filled podcast in style. And the best part? Our signature cute pink brain is front and center, scratching its head just like the rest of us trying to figure out life's weirdest mysteries. 00;15;50;17 - 00;16;24;18 Unknown Honestly, it's the perfect representation of our show. Smart, a little confused, and totally adorable. Just like me. Yeah, sure. Jeremy. Let's go with that. Yeah. Anyways, if you want to grab your official Tour Conundrum merch, head to the bonfire.com/store/total desk conundrum and get yourself some spooky, stylish, and absolutely conundrum worthy because nothing solves a mystery quite like retail therapy. 00;16;24;20 - 00;16;31;20 Unknown Available now. While supplies last. 00;16;31;22 - 00;16;55;15 Unknown And back to the show. Exactly. Later, they sealed it up and slapped a do not Enter sign on it. Call it a day and go home for some tater tot hot dish. Yum yum yum. Yes. My favorite. Meanwhile, I like to imagine the creatures down there binge watching early 1900s Netflix. You know, shadow puppet shows and Morse code soap operas. 00;16;55;17 - 00;17;21;17 Unknown Or maybe they're still digging a tunnel to Disney World. Got to get those season passes before the price hike. One thing's for sure, after that mine incident, the creatures pulled. The ultimate ghost move vanished without a trace, leaving behind only footprints, confusion and solid arguments against moonshine fueled passes. All right, so after the whole call mine vanishing act, you think that would be the end of it? 00;17;21;17 - 00;17;47;17 Unknown But nope. The van meter visitors still pops up now and then, like an uninvited cousin at Thanksgiving. Exactly. People around Van Meter claim they still hear weird sounds near the old Main, strange screeches echoing bat wings, maybe even sounds of two monsters playing catch me If you can underground. And we're not just talking spooky noises. There are occasional sightings. 00;17;47;17 - 00;18;13;03 Unknown Two people report giant winged shadows flying overhead and mysterious glowing lights drifting around the main entrance. At night. Which, let's be real, could also be Greg from down the road testing out his new drone after two many bush lights. Totally possible, but the town they decided to fully embrace their stinky, bullet proof body. Enter the Van Meter Visitor festival. 00;18;13;05 - 00;18;37;04 Unknown Oh yeah. This festival is like Comic-Con for cryptid fans, but with more corndogs and less cosplay. Locals and visitors come together every year to celebrate the creature. They have speakers, cryptid merch, ghost tours and probably at least one guy dressed in a glow in the dark bat costume handing out high fives. I thought they didn't have cosplay. They said less cosplay. 00;18;37;07 - 00;19;03;13 Unknown Oh, yeah. They even have t shirts, statues and all sorts of collectible souvenirs. You can basically get your own. I survived the Van Meter visitor mug or a shirt that says Iowa more than just corn. We have monsters, too. The visitor went from local nightmare to beloved mascot. Like if Freddy Krueger decided to open a pancake house and sponsored Little League. 00;19;03;19 - 00;19;24;00 Unknown I mean, only in the Midwest. What a terrifying creature. Get turned into a reason to host a big, friendly block party. It's actually pretty heartwarming. Instead of chasing it out of town with pitchforks. Okay, they did try that once. Now they sell plushies of it. Plushies that probably still smell like sulfur. But hey, it's the thought that counts. 00;19;24;07 - 00;19;59;25 Unknown So today, the Van Meter visitor is part local legend, part cryptid celebrity, and 100% Iowa charm proof that even the stinkiest glorious cryptid can find love as long as there's a festival involved. So obviously, a glow in the dark demon bed isn't going to just slip quietly into urban legend territory without some folks poking around. Enter the cryptid hunters, paranormal investigators, and cryptid researchers have been making pilgrimages to Van Meter for years, hoping to catch a glimpse or at least get some new TikTok content. 00;19;59;29 - 00;20;24;17 Unknown Some documentary crews even showed up, like the team from expedition X. You know it's serious when you get a whole docu series dedicated to your stinky antics. For anyone who hasn't seen it. Expedition X is basically the part of the Expedition Unknown franchise where they ditch the normal travel vibes and go full spooky. They investigate hauntings, cryptids, and all of those. 00;20;24;20 - 00;20;53;10 Unknown What the heck was that? Mysteries, exactly. And they came to Van Meter because the story has everything they love history, physical evidence, and a town that's still whispering about it more than a century later. One of the coolest parts. They interviewed a couple in Iowa City who had a more recent sighting. They were walking a path near the water and some tall grass when they saw a massive dark winged creature lift up out of the grass. 00;20;53;12 - 00;21;17;24 Unknown It didn't just fly. It launched. They could have been crouched there waiting. Yeah, and the way they described it, this wasn't your average heron or crane. The wingspan was huge. The movement was fast, and the whole thing had, I shouldn't be seeing this vibe. Then the team hit up the old brick factory ruins near the mine. They actually found bones and scat inside. 00;21;18;01 - 00;21;43;02 Unknown Not just random bones, either. Some look like they came from small animals. Maybe even birds. And the scat suggested something had been nesting or feeding there fairly recently. But outside they found tufts of fur snagged on a fence. They sent it in for DNA testing, and the results came back into inconclusive. It didn't match any local animals like raccoons, dogs, or deer. 00;21;43;04 - 00;22;04;17 Unknown Which means it's either something rare or something we don't have on the books. They didn't stop there. They went to the site of the old coal mine, the very spot where townsfolk in 1903 said the creature disappeared underground, and they actually dug into the ground near the entrance, looking for evidence. The mine was still connected to the tunnels underground. 00;22;04;20 - 00;22;37;05 Unknown The soil samples showed voids, possibly air pockets that could indicate that there is still deep unexplored spaces down there, so the mine could still be hiding something, or at least providing shelter to whatever was or is still out there. They also brought in Chad Lewis, the author who's basically the Van Meter visitor's historian. Yeah, Chad, but all over this case, digging up original newspaper clippings, tracking down descendants of eyewitnesses, and mapping the creature's reported path through town. 00;22;37;07 - 00;23;02;03 Unknown His work really ties the modern evidence to the 1903 report. And then they talked to Russell Benedict, a wildlife biologist, the Batman of Iowa. He studied everything from little brown bats to big brown bats to species you don't normally see in the Midwest. He broke down why? The visitor doesn't match the known bat behavior, especially the whole glowing horn thing. 00;23;02;05 - 00;23;29;15 Unknown Bottom line, expedition X didn't catch the visitor, but they did find enough strange evidence to keep the mystery alive. Exactly. And cryptozoology. Those folks who make Bigfoot look like a local squirrel have all sorts of spicy theories. So what did the crypto zoologist turn up when they actually visited Van Meter? Let's break it down. First off, the visitor is basically an ad hoc cryptid legend. 00;23;29;23 - 00;24;01;25 Unknown Not just folklore, but one with physical evidence, repeatable reports, and reputable witnesses. That right there is a crypto Zoologist stream. Exactly. They looked into how consistently respected people described it. 8 to 9ft tall, smooth, leathery wings, a horned, shooting bright light, immune to bullets and always accompanied by a terrifying stench. And yes, the physical evidence is wild. There's that famous plaster casts of the three toed footprint. 00;24;01;25 - 00;24;36;11 Unknown The bank cashier made tracks so odd. Nobody's quite sure what to make of them. Crypto zoologist also dig into eyewitness interviews. Some witnesses describe lights, screeches, a flight pattern that doesn't match any local animal. They looked at natural animal suspects, too, like the great blue herons or the sandhill cranes. Tall winged. They moved silently and in low light they can look outright otherworldly, but none explain the spotlight, horn or bullet resistance. 00;24;36;11 - 00;25;07;19 Unknown Mass hysteria always gets floated as a theory, but crypto zoologists push back, especially since these stories came from medical professionals. Bankers. Another solid folks put on the record in 1903. They also considered prehistoric relics like remnants of pterosaurs from the early times. It's a fringe idea, but hey, cryptozoology is all about entertaining the weird and plausible. They dug deeper into the legend, too. 00;25;07;19 - 00;25;37;04 Unknown Chad Lewis and his team went digging into old documents, local law and historical contexts, giving modern credence to what happened back then. He's basically the cryptid librarian of Van Meter. Archival sleuthing, family interviews, tracing the story's footprint and time. And he's way more credible than just some guy who said he smelt a farting ghost bed. You smell what the rocks got cookin. 00;25;37;07 - 00;26;03;21 Unknown All in all, cryptozoology hasn't confirmed the creature, but they've given it the attention and structure the story deserves, making mystery feel real and not just campfire fodder. On the evidence front, I'm intrigued by the plaster casts of those weird three toed prints left behind at the bank. Wait, where can we see this? Is it in a museum or a local display to. 00;26;03;21 - 00;26;32;10 Unknown We need to book a field trip. That's the thing. Nobody knows where it is now. It might have been lost, tucked away in someone's attic, or accidentally used as a doorstop. So you're telling me the most physical proof of Iowa's own monster might be holding up some great grandma's pantry door right now? Pretty much. Or it's buried in a box labeled Weird Junk next to the baby teeth and a commemorative spoon collection. 00;26;32;12 - 00;26;55;20 Unknown We need to start an official search party. Not for the creature, for the footprint cast. Priorities, Jeremy. I can see it now. Total conundrum. The hunt for the lost cryptid doorstop. Everyone check your grandparents attic if you find it. We'll trade you a t shirt and a shout out on the show. And maybe some cases, pizza. All right, back to it. 00;26;55;23 - 00;27;28;05 Unknown Let's not forget the old newspaper articles from 1903. These people documented the whole thing like it was the Iowa edition of TMZ. Local doctor attacked by stinky bat demon exclusive. Yep. Even the Saint Paul Globe ran a headline about it on October 11th, 1903. And keep in mind, this is before clickbait was the thing they wrote. The town of Van Meter is terribly wrought up by what is described as a horrible monster, terribly wrought up. 00;27;28;08 - 00;27;54;17 Unknown That's old timey for completely freaking out, right? And then there's Des Moines Daily News article on October 4th, 1903, where a guy named Mr. White described shooting at the creature. He says the bullets didn't hurt it. Instead, the thing turned its sights on him. And blessed are the stench so bad it basically knocked him out cold. So, like a cryptid stink bomb. 00;27;54;20 - 00;28;24;20 Unknown Iowa's first weapon of olfactory destruction. Exactly. I like that the newspaper just printed it like it was totally normal. Oh, yeah. A giant wing monster with the spotlight on its head. Guess the guy with the smell. Anyways, under the weather, Bob, it makes me wonder what the reporters were thinking when they wrote this. Like, was this just another Tuesday for them, or were they secretly hoping the thing would fly over their office so they would get an exclusive? 00;28;24;23 - 00;28;48;19 Unknown If they had TMZ back then, you know, they'd offer the Van Meter visitor a deal with a tell all interview and a photo shoot with a centerfold spread titled Bat Out of Hell The Sulfur Years. So whether you believe it was legitimate cryptid, an alien explorer and a current tour, or just a seriously confused bird, the visitor left a pretty solid paper trail. 00;28;48;26 - 00;29;11;25 Unknown And a pretty smelly one too. And even today, the law still lives on. And podcasts, documentaries and those oh so fashionable glow in the dark T-shirts. Proof that if you're going to invade a small town, do it with style and maybe a glowing horn for good measure. Okay, so we've covered the official theories, but you know we can't stop there. 00;29;11;28 - 00;29;38;25 Unknown It's time for the real investigative journalism. The kind you can only get from two people who watch way too much sci fi. Oh, yeah. My personal theory. Is it an alien who crashed in Iowa and decided to start a side hustle scaring the locals? You know, intergalactic Airbnb, terrifying small towns for fun and profit. Or maybe it's just a time traveler and a really bad, bad suit. 00;29;38;27 - 00;30;05;04 Unknown Like he accidentally ordered his Comic-Con costume from wish. The ultimate oops, wrong timeline moment. Imagine showing up in 1903 Iowa expecting a steampunk party instead getting shot by the farmers. Another theory maybe it's part of a secret underground bat colony that decided to do a little moonlight tourism. Guys, let's go freak out some humans tonight. Pack your glow horn. 00;30;05;11 - 00;30;27;04 Unknown Or maybe it was a giant sand Hill crane on steroids. You know, those birds are terrifying when they get mad. True. Have you ever seen a sandhill crane? Give you the side eye. That's enough to make you reevaluate your life choices. Then there's the idea that it was a marketing stunt for some traveling circus that went really, really wrong. 00;30;27;06 - 00;30;52;09 Unknown Come for the bearded lady. Stay for the sulfur scented nightmare. But let's be honest. If this thing were around today, it would 100% have a dating profile. Oh, absolutely. Eight feet tall. Loves long flights through the night. Opened a poly mineshaft. Relationships. Swipe left. If you don't like sulfur breath, swipe right for mysterious footprints and surprise window visits guaranteed to ghost you. 00;30;52;11 - 00;31;22;06 Unknown Literally. The possibilities are endless. And honestly, that's what makes the Van Meter visitor so fun. It's just mysterious enough to keep you guessing and just ridiculous enough to make you question what you're actually seeing every time you see a shadow in the yard. Exactly. Whether it's a cryptid, alien, weird bird, or cosmic prankster, it's carved itself into Iowa's legend forever and into our hearts and nightmares and possibly our nostrils. 00;31;22;08 - 00;31;48;16 Unknown All right, conundrum crew. We know you've got opinions on this one. We want to hear your theories. Was the Van Meter visitor an alien who took a wrong exit, a cryptid on a wild bachelor party? Or just a prank that got way out of hand? Drop us a message, email or leave a comment on our socials. We might read your theory on a future episode or dramatically act it out if it's extra weird. 00;31;48;19 - 00;32;20;22 Unknown Oh, speaking of weird, we actually got a few fan theories sent in already. One here? Yes, please. I think the Van Meter visitor was just my late husband, Earl, coming back to find his dentures. Yeah, those did not find a knife. Wow. Thank you. Mabel from Ohio. That clears everything up. Maybe it was a giant glow stick chicken from the future sent to stop humanity from inventing pineapple pizza. 00;32;20;26 - 00;32;56;12 Unknown That is oddly specific. Beep boop. Visitor from advanced drone prototypes testing local fear response. Beep boop. These came from our listener was absolutely, totally dead. Straight from the department of made up but very entertaining cryptid facts, right? Because nothing screams authentic historical account like robot noises. Hey, you never know. Maybe the Van Meter visitor was just Iowa's first AI experiment. 00;32;56;13 - 00;33;26;29 Unknown Sure. And next they'll tell me it also had built in Wi-Fi and a cup holder. Don't forget Bluetooth. How else would it scream its intimidation playlist? Wow. I have no words. So keep them coming, folks. We love hearing your twisted, hilarious, and surprising creative tics. And remember, the weirder, the better. All right, conundrum crew. It's time for a little game we like to call. 00;33;27;04 - 00;34;00;05 Unknown Would you rather crypted edition? Yeah. Okay, Jeremy, first one's for you. Would you rather be trapped in a cave for 48 hours with the van meter visitor? Or have dinner with Mothman at an all you can eat buffet? Ooh. Tough one. On one hand, van meter visitor smells like sulfur farts from Satan's gym locker. On the other hand, Mothman probably spends their whole dinner staring at the dessert bar like it's a giant porch light. 00;34;00;07 - 00;34;30;20 Unknown So I'm going buffet with Mothman. At least I can eat my wheat and breadsticks while the awkwardly flutters around the soft served machine. Solid choice. All right. Would you rather get a surprise midnight visit from Bigfoot? Or get a glowing love letter from the Jersey devil? Oh, wow. Midnight visit from Bigfoot. Sounds like an unplanned camping trip gone wrong, but a glowing love letter from Jersey devil that speaks cryptid romance right there. 00;34;30;22 - 00;34;52;27 Unknown Plus, I bet the Jersey devil writes in glitter pen for sure. I'm going with the love letter. I would even frame and add it to my autograph wall. All right, one more for the road. Would you rather go on a haunted hayride with the Van Meter visitor, or take a road trip across the country with a chupacabra as your only travel buddy? 00;34;53;00 - 00;35;15;00 Unknown Oh, man. Van meter visitor on a haunted hayride. Sounds like a nonstop stinky. Jumpscares. But chupacabra, you just know he's going to eat all the gas station snacks and try to drink the car coolant. Plus, he'll probably insist on listening to goat bleeding Asmr the whole way. True. Fine. I'll take the hayride as long as I can wear hazmat suit. 00;35;15;02 - 00;35;42;25 Unknown There you have it, folks. Play along and let us know your picks. And if you have your own cryptid, would you rather question? Send them in. We might share them in a future episode, or use them to emotionally scar each other on air. Either way, it's a win for everyone. So after all the shooting, stinky air raids, and late night coal mine parties, the Van Meter visitor still lives on not just in Iowa legends, but in our imaginations too. 00;35;42;28 - 00;36;15;08 Unknown Absolutely. This story has everything mystery, weird footprints, questionable hygiene, and a town full of determined, gun wielding farmers who just want to sleep in peace. And that's why it still captivates us today. Because deep down, we all love a good what the heck moment. Preferably one that doesn't involve bulletproof bats crashing through our windows. But hey, if you're feeling extra brave or you really love corn and cryptids, visit Van Meter sometime. 00;36;15;14 - 00;36;36;15 Unknown Just watch out for those stinky airborne roommates and maybe bring some febreeze before we vanish into the mind like a smelly glowstick bat. Don't forget to follow us on all the social and subscribe to us on YouTube. Leave us a rating and review on your favorite podcast app. It helps us out more than a glowing horn in the dark. 00;36;36;22 - 00;37;03;28 Unknown And if you got your own weird creature encounters, ghost stories, or questionable date app matches with cryptids, send them our way. We might share them on a future episode. Next week we're diving into the paranormal with a special guest, Dave from Midwest Spirit Seekers. That's right, we're talking real investigations, spine tingling stories, and maybe even a few behind the scenes moments from haunted locations. 00;37;04;00 - 00;37;33;11 Unknown Dave spends some seriously active places, so expect creepy tales, strange evidence, and tips for anyone brave enough to try a ghost hunt themselves. Brave enough please. I'm already planning my packing list. EMF meter recorder. Maybe even a pizza for the road. Don't forget, matches always bring matches. No matter. Stay at home. This time, we actually want to get invited back, remember? 00;37;33;13 - 00;38;06;06 Unknown Fine. Until then, stay weird, stay curious. And remember, if you see something flying at night with a glowing horn and a bad attitude, maybe just let it pass. Or at least don't shoot at it right away. I will learn that one the hard way. Keep on creeping on. We love you, Mahi. You out? Thanks for hanging out with us here a total conundrum. 00;38;06;12 - 00;38;30;15 Unknown Please make sure to check out our website and blog at Turtle conundrum.com for news, upcoming events, merch, bloopers, and additional hysteria. You never know or pop up, so be sure to follow along if you want to show your support for Total Conundrum and gain access to all of our bonus content, please visit our Patreon page. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. 00;38;30;17 - 00;39;02;06 Unknown The links are available in our show notes. If you have any questions, comments, recommendations or stories to share, please email us at contact at. Total conundrum.com. Episodes are available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts. If you like the show, please rate, review and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. We appreciate the love. Keep on keepin on, motherfuckers. 00;39;02;08 - 00;39;07;12 Unknown And. 00;39;07;14 - 00;39;13;12 Unknown Family and. 00;39;13;14 - 00;39;33;20 Unknown If you have.